Masquerade 2: Uphill Climb
by Jo. R
Summary: Retired? They don't know the meaning of the word. Alternate Universe, sequel to Masquerade.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Masquerade II: Uphill Climb

Author/Email: Jo. R PG-13, bad language.

Category: Sam/Jack Established, Angst, Action/Adventure, Drama, AU.

Spoilers: Anything up to Threads – though set in an AU after the story "Masquerade" so the Sam/other, Jack/other storylines don't exist. In this little universe, Jack retired at the end of season eight 5 or so months ago.

Season/Sequel: Set season nine, follows "Masquerade" but can be read as a standalone story.

Summary: Retired? They don't know the meaning of the word.

Archive: SJA, Random Ramblings, SJFic, Helio, SG Novel Archive. Anywhere else, please ask.

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. The MIU and all agents in it are mine, apart from Belle and Pete Alexander, who belong to Fairygnomes and are a lot fluffier in RL.

Authors notes: There's a flashback between the marks. Written before I read anything much about season nine/watched an episode so some characters are missing and others aren't as likeable as they are on screen.

Universe Background: If you haven't read Masquerade, you'll need to know the MIU stands for Military Investigation Unit, a select group of agents who work within various military groups and investigate various government and military organisations if there's anything suspicious about them. In Masquerade, Sam was called back into action and closed an investigation into the NID, shutting them down and getting rid of a double agent in the process, who was also her mentor and responsible for the death of a close friend. The other characters in that story will be reintroduced in this one so that's all you really need to know.

* * *

She was having a bad day.

A really, really bad day. One that started at two am when her pager went off, waking both her and her partner at least five hours too early on what should have been their day off together.

"SGC?"

"No. MIU."

"Thought you were retired."

"Yeah. Apparently my former colleagues don't know the meaning of the word." A quick kiss followed by a half-hearted bought of wrestling as he tried to keep her from leaving thwarted her first attempt at crawling out of bed. "I'll be back before you know it. Go back to sleep."

A grunt signalled he was already on the way towards taking her advice.

That was the start of her bad day, having to leave the nice warm bed she'd been happily ensconced in for too few hours. Add that to the briefing where in the President himself told her via satellite link that he was personally taking an interest in the case and was withdrawing her retirement request from her record temporarily and then add the satisfied looks on the faces of her former colleagues at the news...

... Not to mention being dragged out with them to follow a lead that yes, fortunately, resulted in detaining one of their suspects but not without said suspect taking advantage of her lack of sleep and managing to get two good blows to the side that were most definitely going to leave telling marks on her skin.

All in all, it was a bad start.

A telling start to the rest of her day.

At 0500 hours she found herself pulling sleepily into the drive, bumbling through the front door only just remembering to lock it behind her as she started stripping off her clothes, not caring where they landed as she made her way to the bedroom.

She found the rumpled sleep shirt she'd discarded previously – a t-shirt that had once, distantly, belonged to the snoring man in bed – and slipped it on, wincing as her newly bruised flesh protested at the action of raising her arms.

Within two seconds of crawling under the covers and attempting to bury herself inside them, her 'I don't like cuddling' lover rolled over from his position of lying on his stomach to drape an arm loosely over her waist, nuzzling her neck sleepily.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine."

"You sure?" His arm tightened around her waist – until he felt her flinch and withdrew, drawing the blankets back and rolling up her t-shirt to see the beginnings of the tell-tale bruising. "That doesn't look like everything's okay."

With a yawn that started life as a sigh, Sam twisted to lie on her side and met his almost accusing gaze. "I've been officially reinstated as a MIU Agent. President's orders. On a temporary basis at least."

He withdrew the hand that had been gently tracing the blemishes and lay on his back, folding his arms underneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling, his jaw clenched.

Her role within the MIU was still a source of tension between them; one they'd both thought was in the past. He didn't like the thought of her putting herself in so much danger – adding to the danger she was already in through her position at the SGC, particularly since he had some experience with it himself. She didn't like the thought of her status of an active agent putting his life in danger, knowing that as soon as he officially retired as commander of the SGC and their relationship was out in the open, he would become a target for those she'd managed to alienate during her long career as a MIU Agent.

So after a few years as a sleeper agent for the MIU, she retired when he retired from the SGC. It was the only solution that made them both happy, the only one that made it possible for them to give their relationship the chance it deserved.

"Why?"

"Someone with a grudge is eliminating MIU Agents and their families. Even the ones who retired or resigned a long time ago." She shuffled closer and let her hand rest on his chest, hoping to diffuse some of the tension. "That means we're targets already, Jack. You just as much if not more than me. I couldn't refuse. I need to be involved in this so I know whether to arrange for you... for the two of us to disappear for a while."

He covered her hand with his, lacing their fingers together. Turned his head so his eyes could find and lock with hers. "You promise you'll keep me involved? Let me help, if only unofficially? And you won't go putting yourself in unnecessary danger, even if you think it'll mean I'm safe?"

She considered crossing her fingers behind her back but decided against it. He was one of the best Air Force officers she'd served with, a damn good solider, and if she was honest she liked the thought of him being there to watch her back just as much as she knew she wouldn't want anyone else watching his. "I promise. On all accounts." Pushing herself up, she leaned over him and sealed the deal with a soft kiss before returning to lie on her side, cuddled into him just a little.

He didn't like cuddling, after all. Even though he shifted to lie more on his side, his body leaning into hers as his arm returned to her waist.

"You still have the day off?"

"Yep." Her eyes closed, a small smile playing on her lips as she remembered the President's reaction to her insistence that she wouldn't be able to devote any real time to the mission until tomorrow. "As far as the MIU is concerned, I'm still assigned to the SGC until tomorrow. So today's okay. Still ours."

"So we can go back to sleep for a while and do stuff later?"

Burying her face into the crook of his neck muffled the snort of amusement. "Yes. We can do stuff later. Go back to sleep, Jack."

"Okay."

A kiss on the top of her head and five minutes later had them both heading towards the bliss of the unconscious...

... Until her pager went off again, this time joined by the ringing of the phone beside the bed.

Bad day.

Very bad day.

* * *

And it got worse very quickly.

It was unusual for them both to be called to the SGC, particularly since he'd been retired for five months and counting so neither hesitated in grudgingly getting up, sharing a quick shower and dressing hurriedly before heading for their respective vehicles.

They chose to travel separately, to try and ward off the one or two gossips at the SGC just waiting for a new chapter in the Carter-O'Neill saga. No doubt rumours would start of trouble between the two when they arrived in different cars but even that was better than adding to the already rife speculation that wedding bells would soon ring, followed closely by the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

It was frustrating to have no choice in sharing their relationship with seventy-plus people, some of whom they didn't even know.

The bad day continued, though, when Sam unlocked her car and got inside it, shutting the door behind her without looking around so she could back off the drive and let Jack get his truck from the garage.

The moment her door was shut, the locks were automatically engaged and she noticed the tape recorder sitting neatly on the passengers seat with a big 'Play Me Now' sign.

Her nerves on edge, she did as ordered and lifted an eyebrow as the somehow vaguely familiar voice started speaking.

"Good morning, Colonel Carter. Beautiful day, isn't it? I advise you to sit very still and listen carefully to what I have to say. Do not attempt to leave the vehicle and do not attempt to turn on the engine. To do either would result in General O'Neill being caught in the debris of the blast, not to mention the distress it would no doubt cause him to witness your death by being blown to pieces due to the bomb rigged to the bottom of your car."

The threat was delivered in a cheerful voice.

Her hand froze on the door handle and she looked up to see Jack looking back at her from the driver's seat of his truck.

"I watched you deal with my former colleague this morning. I hope he didn't hurt you too badly, I would hate for you to be unable to continue the task the President of our good country has issued you. I admire your work, Colonel, and always have. This is why you're receiving this warning. Your former teammates with the MIU, or should I say current? They are now our targets. Every one you have worked with through your capacity with the MIU is now under threat and we will enjoy watching you do your best to save them. If you fail at any time, my disappointment will result in a punishment of my choice. Keep your friends close, Colonel. Your loved ones even closer. I will enjoy watching you work and hope to meet with you face to face soon. It's not that I want you to find me and my existing colleagues but you could say I'm a fan and would relish the chance to meet you in person. There is no time limit on how long you have to free yourself from your vehicle without activating the bomb. I will be watching to see that you manage it, and to mourn you if you don't. Enjoy the rest of your day."

With a click, the recording ended and the tape stopped rolling.

Her hand was in her pocket, digging out her cell phone frantically as she watched Jack leave his truck.

Watched him take his own phone from his pocket and look at her in confusion when he realised who was ringing.

"Carter, what..."

"There's a bomb underneath my car. It will explode if I turn on the engine or open the door." She wasted no time in explaining, her concern for his safety rising as she fought back panic about her own. "Keep away from the car, Jack. Go back inside the house, go to my drawer in the desk and dig out my address book. Annie's in there, look under Bartley. Call her and tell her I need a MIU team with bomb disposal experience here ASAP and tell her... Tell her the sick psychopath stalking the MIU likes playing games and he's chosen me and my team to play them with."

"Jesus Christ, Sam." He stared at her from his place rooted to the driveway, the colour draining from his face as his mouth dried up. "Don't move. I'll go call her then be right back, okay?"

"No." She saw the surprise on his face, quickly followed by the frown as realisation dawned. "The guy said the bomb didn't have a timer but I can't exactly trust him when he didn't even give me a name and has already taken out three MIU agents and their families. For all I know he's screwing with me. Giving me false hope. After you've made the call, you get the hell out of here. Get the MIU to work with the cops and the FBI and CIA and anyone else who can help evacuate the area and get the hell out of the way. You can't be here, Jack. I can't have you be here just in case."

"And you think I'm going to stand back from a distance and watch you go up in flames?" He turned on his heel and stormed away, the affect ruined only slightly by the way he still clutched the cell phone to his ear. "You're in no position to stop me from being here, Sam. I'll stand right beside the damn car if I want to."

"And get yourself blown up, too? What good will that do?" She closed her eyes, her head falling back against the seat. "Please, Jack. I don't want you to die, too."

"It's not your call. You die, I die. Then we can go haunt the bastards who killed us." His attempt at humour failed to take the edge off the situation but it did make her smile.

"You do realise that came close to being a 'till death do us part' declaration, right?"

"I'd noticed."

"Good."

She heard him sigh, imagined him walking into the study she'd half claimed on moving in, heard him rummage through the desk drawers.

"I'm going to have to put the phone down for a minute. Sit tight."

"Like I have a choice."

Bad day.

Really, really, really bad day.

* * *

Within the hour, all members of her former team were there, as team of MIU Agents she'd worked with before with experience of bomb disposal.

She turned carefully in her seat and surveyed the people helping out with the evacuation of the area, recognising one or two MIU agents, some CIA agents and a handful of people running around in FBI jackets. She hoped whoever was behind the excitement was having a good time but she certainly wasn't.

Especially not when Daniel Jackson and Teal'c arrived on the scene and joined Jack.

Standing right beside the car, despite her repeated requests for them to get as far away as possible.

"How's she holding up?" She heard Daniel asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her through the glass window.

A string of expletives burst from her lips and she saw Jack grin in response.

"She's holding up pretty well. And can hear every word." His grin grew when he noticed her glare and he had the audacity to wink at her as she swore at him through the phone she clutched to her mouth. "She says to tell you hi."

"I do not believe that is what Colonel Carter said, O'Neill."

Jack gave another grin but didn't respond, too busy listening to the voice in his ear.

"I mean it, Jack. I don't want to see you standing there in five minutes time."

She watched him take a step forward, moving closer to the car and scowled at him through the window.

"Like I said before, you're hardly in a position to stop me." He walked right up to the drivers door, pleased the bomb had been located at the back of the car so the way was clear of hard working agents. "I'm not going anywhere till you're out of there."

"I'll leave you." The threat was an empty one; one they both knew she couldn't keep despite the fire behind her eyes as she delivered it. "The moment I get out of here, I'll pack my bags and go."

"No you won't. You tried that before, remember?" His smile softened, and he let the hand that wasn't holding the phone rest against the glass between them, watching her mimic the gesture, hearing her sigh as she did. "I wouldn't let you go then and I won't let you now. You made me promise not to let you run away from this, Sam. I usually keep my promises."

A reluctant smile curved her lips as she remembered, the blush staining her cheeks despite the time that had passed since the night he referred to.

* * *

* * *

_It was the beginning of their third month of living together. Three months of being an official couple, of being in a relationship they didn't have to hide._

_Under pressure from her new CO at the SGC, Sam returned to find a note saying he'd gone out for a bottle of wine and if she had time, could she heat up the soup on the stove for starters._

_It wasn't an unreasonable request, but it turned out to be the catalyst in bringing to light the stress she was under, and a fear she wasn't even aware she had._

_She put the soup on as he'd asked and went up to their room to change, slipping out of her BDUs into worn jeans and a t-shirt she'd taken from his drawer during the first week after moving in with him. A little gesture that helped her feel comfortable claiming his home as her own._

_Thoughts of her day circled in her mind, distracting her as she puzzled over the tasks she'd yet to complete in her lab, groused over the new General's less-than-pleasant attitude towards her. An attitude that hadn't improved when he found out she was a former MIU agent and was living with her former CO._

_The sound of the smoke alarm broke into her musings, a rude awakening._

_With several colourful words that would have made her father blush, Sam had raced down the stairs, tripping on the purse she'd left thoughtlessly lying about and spraining her ankle in the process so having to hobble into the kitchen to attempt the rescue operation of the smoking pan of soup._

_The operation failed miserably and she startled herself by doing a complete irrational, completely female thing to do: she burst into tears._

_Ten minutes later when Jack arrived home, it was to find her standing just inside the front door, struggling with two bulging bags while balancing on one foot as the other swelled to an impressive size._

_"What's going on?"_

_She looked up at him, her eyes red, as red as her nose. "I can't do this. I'm leaving."_

_"The hell you are!"_

_The angry outburst made her jump, as did the sound of the bottle of wine shattering as the bag it was in slipped unnoticed to the floor. He advanced towards her, his eyes burning and for the second time that day she did the only thing she seemed capable of doing in her highly hormonal and deeply vulnerable state._

_She burst into tears. Again._

_Dropped the bags she'd been trying to juggle and tried to bat his hands away when he moved to encircle her with his arms and draw her close._

_"I'm a horrible person," she sobbed. "Useless. I can't do the relationship thing. I don't know how. I keep screwing it up like I screw up everything."_

_"You don't screw everything up, Carter. You rarely screw up anything." He let his chin rest atop her head, running his hands up and down her back in soothing circles._

_"I am a screw up. General Landry hates me. I think he hates all women but he hates me most of all 'cause I keep correcting him and messing up his perfect plans." She sniffed loudly. "And then I came home and I screwed up here and you deserve better than me because I really, really can't do this. I can't make it work."_

_"First of all, Landry is a bastard who hates women because he can't get laid. Secondly." He eased her away with gentle hands and stared at her streaked face in concern. "How'd you screw up here, to her than obviously having done something to make your ankle decide it wants to start wearing my shoes instead of yours?"_

_She looked at him then, with solemn blue eyes and a trembling bottom lip, setting his heart racing as he tried not to worry about what she was going to say._

_"I burnt the soup."_

_Of all the things he'd dreaded her saying..._

_He managed to restrain himself, contain his laughter because the distress on her face wasn't amusing. He shuffled his feet closer to hers, mindful of her injury, and moved his hands to cup her face. Holding her still so he could lean in and kiss her tenderly._

_Once, twice._

_Three times._

_"Jack?"_

_"Mmm?"_

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Trying." Kiss. "To make you forget." Another kiss. "About burning the damn soup."_

_Another slightly longer, slightly more insistent kiss punctuated the answer._

_"Oh. Okay." Her arms moved to wind around his neck, her eyes nicely dazed when he pulled back after bestowing yet another kiss on her mouth. "What soup?"_

_"I have no idea." Confident that she wasn't going to do anything stupid, like push him away and try to leave, Jack released her face and lowered his hands so they came to rest on her hips. "You're not a screw up. And you're not getting rid of me so easily. Definitely not because of a pan of soup that probably wasn't that good to begin with."_

_Sam sniffed again, staring up at him through lowered eyelids. Her bout of crying over, she started to feel more than a little embarrassed for letting her emotions run riot and get the better of her._

_"I'm sorry. I guess I just... over-reacted. It's been one of those days, everything went wrong at work and then I came home and couldn't even heat up some soup without trying to burn down the house. Soup, for crying out loud! I'm not good at the domesticated thing, at relationships. I panicked." She opened her eyes slightly wider, her hands clutching his shoulders. "I'll probably panic again," she warned. "Try to run away."_

_He kissed her nose, smiling fondly at her. "I won't let you. Now let's get you to the couch and put some ice on your foot. I'll tidy up the mess I've made in here and then you can tell me all about your day. I'll even call in sick for you tomorrow so you don't have to deal with Landry till you feel better."_

_"Thank you."_

_"Think nothing of it."_

* * *

* * *

"I still don't want you here. So close." She stared at him past their hands, wishing the glass wasn't there between them. "Maybe you could find out how it's going at the back end of the car? See if they're any further on getting me out of here?"

He nodded as she watched, his reluctance to pull his hand away showing on his face. Then it was gone, replaced with a grin that didn't quite meet his eyes as he walked away. "This is going to be one hell of a phone bill, Carter."

She snorted, letting her hand drop to her knee. "I'll claim it back in expenses from the MIU, don't worry."

She heard him ask how it was going, saw Annie Bartley glare at the muffled answer through the review mirror. She watched Jack threaten someone, saw Annie's look of approval and really, really wished he hadn't muffled the conversation with his hand.

She didn't need to hear it to get the gist of what was being said, though. Whoever had decided to toy with her was damn good at it, which meant she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Great.

Fantastic.

Really, really bad day.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

"Colonel Carter?" The voice came from somewhere behind her. And from the floor.

She twisted in her seat and saw a small hole in the floor of the backseat. A hole that wasn't there before.

"So the sawing sound I heard earlier wasn't you guys getting the bomb off my car?"

"Ah, no, ma'am." The vaguely familiar face grinned up at her and she struggled to put a name to it. Andrews, Anderson? Something like that. "We've encountered a small problem."

"A small problem? I'm guessing it's not the hole in my car? And quit calling me ma'am."

"No, ma'am... Sir. We seem to have activated the bomb. The timer started flashing and, well, it's got just under six minutes left." The sound of paper rustling accompanied the muffled voices. The face disappeared for a few moments, replaced by an arm clutching some photographs and waving them at her. "Agent Bartley told us to take a photo and give it to you so you could have a look and see if you can think of a way to disable it."

Sam stretched, leaning over and hoping her muscles would forgive her for it. She glanced from the pictures to the hole when the oil and grease smudge face reappeared. "Can I just ask why no one warned me you were cutting a hole in my car?"

She ignored the hastily mumbled reply and focused her attention on the images in front of her, running possibly scenarios through her mind.

Not one of them was worth attempting. She couldn't be more than fifty percent sure about any of her ideas and didn't want anyone hanging around attempting them in case she was wrong.

One life lost was better than two.

"Okay. Get your people together and get behind the line. That's an order." She spared him a glare when he hesitated and reached for the cell phone on the passengers seat. "Jack? Put Annie on the phone."

"What's happening, Carter? They won't tell us anything..."

"Just put Annie on. I'll explain later."

She heard him sigh, was pretty sure she heard him swear at her and then Annie was on the phone.

"Sam? What's going on? They made us move away while they tried something..."

"They activated the timer, Annie. There's probably less than five minutes left. I've looked at the photos you had them give me and there's nothing I can suggest. It's over." She ignored the grunt on the other end of the phone and continued. "Get everyone behind the line and wait. If it turns out the timers a dud and I'm still here in ten minutes, I'll give you a call and we can get back to work. No buts, no arguments. I won't have anyone else risking their lives. You're all going to be needed to catch this guy and believe me, he'll be thrilled if he wipes out half of us just by planting a bomb under my car."

"He doesn't want you dead, Sam. He wants to play with you." Annie sighed down the phone, her reluctance to leave clear. "I'll get everyone back and wait for seven minutes. If nothing's happened by then, we'll get back to work."

"Ten minutes, Annie. Give it time."

"I hate it when you order me around."

"Yeah, well, I hate it, too. That's why I retired."

"It isn't over, Sam. I'm going to go get people to clear the area and if I'm not mistaken, there's someone on their way to speak to you. Bomb or not, I don't think he's gonna leave."

"Damn."

Sam hung up without saying goodbye. Intending on it. Goodbyes, she decided, were what she was worst at.

After relationships, or maybe just before them.

She looked out of the window and saw Jack standing there, his expression dark and moody. She watched Annie approach him, hand him the phone and walk away quickly after casting what she decided was a sympathetic look towards the car.

Then her cell phone started to ring.

Sam glanced at him, saw him scowling at the closed phone in his hand and glanced down at the display on her own phone.

'Number withheld.'

Curiosity got the better of her and she flipped the phone open, lifting it to her ear as she let her other hand rest pointlessly on the steering wheel. "Carter."

"I'm very disappointed in you, Colonel Carter. I thought your people would have freed you by now. Instead they've decreased your chances significantly."

The voice was smooth, the tone sincere. She sat up straighter in her seat and saw Jack move closer out of the corner of her eye.

"It's touching that he won't leave you behind, Colonel, but that was the motto of the infamous SG-1 wasn't it? You don't leave your people behind. It's interesting how he remains yet your colleagues within the MIU flee for their own lives. Maybe we should involve General O'Neill in our plans for the future."

"Keep him out of it." Her voice was low, her words a growl. "He's not MIU. He's not who you're after."

"True." The sigh sounded disappointed. "But if you live, he would remain involved by default. Hmm." There was a slight pause and she narrowed her eyes, listening intently to what was going on on the other end of the call. She thought she could hear muffled voices but wasn't one hundred percent sure. Before she could listen any further, the voice was back, the tone considerably lighter. "We've decided to give you a chance, Colonel. You may attempt to exit the vehicle by whichever method you choose other than by using the doors. But hurry. You only have four minutes left."

There was a click and the line died.

She frowned, glancing around the car as she thought about alternate methods of escape. If the car had a sunroof, she could climb out of that but it didn't. The hole on the floor in the back was nowhere near big enough for her to squeeze through...

... Her eyes landed on Jack's concerned face through the glass of her window and inspiration struck.

Aware of his eyes widening, she started winding down the window on the driver's side of the car.

"Are you insane? Didn't they tell you not to try to leave?"

"They had a change of heart. Guess he really doesn't want to play with anyone else." She pulled her legs up onto the seat and crouched, surveying the small gap she had to climb through. "Okay, I've got less than four minutes to get through the window and for us both to get as far away as possible. Give me a hand?"

"I'll give you two."

Together, they managed to get her out of the car. Not without a few scrapes and bruises but eventually he managed to pull her free of the vehicle and steady her while she found her feet.

Sam glanced at her watch and grimaced.

Less than two minutes.

"Time to run. Fast."

The barriers set up to keep everyone at bay were in sight when the bomb went off. They were far enough away to escape the worst of it but still found themselves caught up in the smoke, in the heat and found themselves knocked off their feet by the sheer force.

When the echoing in her ears subsided, Sam lifted her head and glanced back over her shoulder, wincing at the sight.

Her car was gone. His truck was in flames.

The garden she'd ordered him to make neater was covered in warped metal, shattered glass and clumps of grass were home to small fires.

Fortunately, because of the way the house was situated, their neighbours homes and cars remained intact.

Their own was in danger of the fire spreading and was already smoke damaged if nothing else.

She turned her head and winced again, this time due to the various twinges of pain sprinkled up and down her body. Looked at him. Saw the smears on his face, the dirt and the blood. The scratches that were thankfully superficial.

"You okay?"

She took a deep breath in preparation for answering and found herself coughing. Licking her lips, she tried again as he got to shaky legs and offered her a hand. "I told you I was bad at the relationship thing."

He stared at her in concern, no doubt wondering if she'd hit her head and if so, how hard.

Sam motioned to the wreckage, to the house, to the gaping neighbours already speaking in raised, almost hysterical voices behind the barriers. "I think we can safely say I should give up on making a good impression on your neighbours. That's one of the golden rules on 'how to make a relationship work'. One I just failed."

"Ah, but you failed it spectacularly." He grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her away from the crowd, both of them staring at their house. "Don't worry, they'll probably love you for it. They don't get much excitement around here."

She looked at the remains of her car. The car she'd devoted so much time and energy into restoring and sighed, letting her head rest on his shoulder as she reviewed her morning.

Wake up way too early and get dragged back into the MIU: check.

Capture a bad guy and celebrate prematurely with a big ugly bruise to the site: check.

Get called to the SGC for an emergency and fail to show up: check, and check.

Get trapped in a car with a bomb underneath: check.

Get out of car: check, eventually.

Watch beloved Volvo get blown to pieces: check.

Ruin all and any chance at being on her new neighbours Christmas card list. All of them: check times however many neighbours she'd had and isolated.

She sighed again, her eyes closed.

"I should've just stayed in bed."

* * *

It was a sentiment she felt with a vengeance as the day wore on.

At the insistence of Jack, Annie and Daniel – and the look she got from Teal'c – she let herself be whisked away to the SGC to be checked out by Doctor Brightman, leaving Annie and the rest of her team to arrange the various MIU agents investigating the scene – leaving them to make nice with the local authorities, the FBI and the CIA.

Something she knew would come back to bite her in the ass and had done by the time they reached the SGC.

Admiral Michaels, a retired Navy officer who sat on the board of directors for the MIU, was on the phone waiting for her by the time they arrived. As he was based in Washington, he primarily acted as a liaison for the MIU with other government agencies.

Two of which had already issued complaints on how the situation had been dealt with.

"With all due respect, Sir, we didn't make this an MIU issue. The bastard responsible for it all did. If the FBI and CIA want a piece of it, they can damn well wait until one of their own is taken out."

A pause, a wince.

A glare at Doctor Brightman when she prodded a tender patch of skin.

"No, Sir. I'm not saying I want them to be targets but I don't see why we should involve them in the investigation... Yes, I appreciate them being there this morning and for helping clear the scene but... No, Sir. No."

A heavy sigh, a sigh of defeat.

"If you can get clearance for some FBI and CIA agents to work from NORAD for the duration of the investigation, I'll consider it. I want through background checks on them all before they join the team, though. Sir. There is someone, possibly a group of someones, who are targeting my friends, my people, and now focusing on me and the people I care about most. If I don't like the look of someone, they're not getting in. End of story."

She rolled her eyes when her SG1 teammates exchanged amused looks.

"Well that's as near to a compromise as they're going to get, Admiral. As near as anyone gets with me. Goodbye." She slammed the phone down into its cradle and looked up to find Jack staring at her with a raised eyebrow and half grin on his face. For some reason it made her scowl. "What?"

"How'd you become the golden girl of the MIU if you speak to your superiors in that way?" He glanced to Doctor Brightman, the brunette woman hovering over her. "She okay?"

"She's fine, General. Nothing a few days rest and a nice hot bath won't fix." Doctor Brightman gave him a small nod. "Now if you'd like to take the opposite bed, I'd like to check out your injuries."

Jack couldn't miss the smug look his lover shot in his direction. "I'm fine, Doc. It's just a scratch or two."

"I believe you, Sir, but I couldn't in good conscience let you out of here without making sure you're not concussed." Doctor Brightman smiled brightly. "Besides, Colonel Carter made me promise."

The smug look vanished into one of utter innocence even as he glowered. Daniel tried hiding a grin behind his hand and Teal'c suddenly took up an interest in studying the cracks in the ceiling.

"Anyway, Jack got us caught up on the whole MIU thing," Daniel started as the former base commander was led towards the gurney opposite Sam's. "Like the NID but better."

"Much better. The NID are – were – evil. MIU are the good guys." Sam slipped her BDU jacket over her vest top, gritting her teeth against her body's protest. "You understand why I never told you about it, right?"

"Sure. Top secret government deal. Like the SGC but... not." Daniel shrugged and took a step closer, his hands in his pockets. His voice lowered. "Jack said the people you go up against... They've tried using us against you before. Tried to kill us."

Sam nodded, stifling another wince though not one caused by physical aches and pains. "Yeah... I haven't let them. I'm good at what I do, Daniel. I promise I'll keep doing it wherever necessary."

"I know that, Sam. It's just... Jack's kinda concerned you've been hand picked for this... mission. He's recommended we stay at the SGC until it's all worked out. Maybe even go off world." Daniel stared at her intently, watching for a reaction. Any reaction. He saw it in the way her gaze dipped towards her hands before lifting back to his face. Almost guiltily. "You think he's right."

"I know you guys are capable of looking after yourselves, especially now you're aware of the danger you might face off-base but it would mean a lot... It would help me a lot to know you were here. Or off world somewhere. To know you were safe." Her gaze shifted from Daniel to Teal'c and back again. "Due to the fact I'm now an active MIU agent again, and that the people responsible for this have chosen me specifically, everyone I care about is a walking target. I'll be going through those people this afternoon, making sure they're somewhere safe or otherwise protected." Her mind was already working on the problem of getting her brother and his family out of harms way without them being alerted to it. "You guys are the closest thing I have to family after my brother. Jack and I will be staying at the SGC if I can get clearance for it and it would mean a lot if you'd agree to stay, too."

Daniel shifted uneasily at her words and threw what she deciphered as a nervous glance in Jack's direction. "I don't think you'll need to worry about getting clearance to stay here. For Jack, I mean."

"Well he is the former CO of the base." The smile she gave him was lopsided, and more than slightly suspicious. "That'll probably help convince Landry he can be trusted. Then again maybe I'm the one who'll need clearance. Landry seems to have a problem with me..."

"Not anymore."

"General Landry has been removed from the SGC." Surprise and disbelief registered on her face. "There were complaints from several members of staff about his behaviour. You will be required to make a statement, Colonel Carter, regarding his treatment of you."

Sam shifted uncomfortably on the bed and let her gaze drop to the floor.

Teal'c knew, she remembered. Daniel suspected but hadn't witnessed anything.

And Jack had had no idea.

Had being the operative word.

She could feel his gaze on her and tried to shrug it off.

"So who are they going to get to replace him?"

Even as the question left her mouth, the ramifications of Daniel's comment hit her.

Jack wouldn't need clearance.

Jack, the former CO of the base.

She turned her head to fix the retired General with a look of her own.

"They want you back."

His eyes met hers. Held.

"I haven't said yes."

"But you're considering it."

No comment. No denial.

Sam sat up straighter and got down from the bed she was sitting on. She squared her shoulders, schooled her expression into a neutral mask.

"I see. If you'd excuse me, I have an investigation to run."

She heard him swear even as she walked away. Heard the sound of his feet hitting the floor as he followed her out into the corridor.

"Carter..."

She turned on him before he could continue, her eyes flashing. "Is this some sort of revenge? Is that it? I get called out of retirement so you jump at the chance when it's offered?"

"I haven't accepted the position yet, Sam. I wanted to talk to you first... I'm just here in a temporary capacity while they look for someone else and so I can oversee the investigation into the allegations against Landry. Some of which involve you. It's why we were both paged this morning." He reached out for her. Stopped when she took a step back. "Don't be like this. Don't make this about us."

"Isn't it?" The fire in her eyes faded, giving into a hurt, betrayed glint. He'd choose the anger any day over the look in her eyes as she stared at him. "This is about us, Jack, or have you forgotten a little thing called regulations? I know you've been struggling to adjust to life at home but if you come back... That's it. For another three or four or however many years we're both still alive and working here. That's the end of us. I can't go back to the way it was before..."

Her voice lowered and she broke off. Admitting they'd once broken regulations to be together wasn't something either was proud of.

Wasn't something either of them wanted to have thrown back in their faces.

Jack stared at her, his silence speaking for him.

There was nothing he could say that wasn't potentially a false promise.

"I can't... I can't focus on this. I can't have this argument with you now, not here." She ran a hand through her hair, letting her arm drop limply to her side as her back straightened. "You are my commanding officer. This is an inappropriate conversation for us to have. If you'll excuse me, Sir, I have to set up for a briefing. If you need me, I'll be in conference room 3C."

With a smart salute that made him wince, Sam turned on her heel and strode off in the direction of the elevators.

Jack looked over his shoulder when he sensed Teal'c and Daniel move out into the hallway, both men no doubt having been listening and waiting for it to be safe.

He squared his shoulders and turned to face them, staring first at Teal'c, then at Daniel. "Okay, guys," he said with a sigh. "I've got to get started with an investigation of my own and you obviously know something about it. I know Landry wasn't one of Carter's admirers but she didn't tell me about the complaints he lodged against her in her file. Is there anything either of you want to tell me?"

"Colonel Carter feels that to divulge that information would only make the situation worse." Teal'c met his gaze evenly. "Although I disagree with her, I must adhere to her wishes."

"T, it's over. Landry's long gone and he won't be coming back. I know where Carter's coming from, if she'd been the only one to say something then it would've just made it worse but he's history. I'm trying to make sure he's history. To do that I need to know everything that happened and since she's not in a talkative mood right now..."

"You mean she's not talking to you."

"Yes. Thank you for pointing out the obvious." Jack spared Daniel a look and continued. "Since she's obviously been keeping it from me, I need to know what was said. I know he had a problem with her but I didn't know it was this bad so can you please give me something to work with till I can ask her about it myself."

"General Landry implied that Colonel Carter reached her rank due to having relations with yourself, General Hammond and her previous superiors. I believe on more than one occasion he suggested to do so with him would benefit her career." Teal'c's expression never faltered. Never changed. "If you require more information than that, you will need to speak to Colonel Carter."

Jack watched his friend walk away and clenched his hands into fists. He saw Daniel open his mouth to say something, change his mind and shrug before Daniel, too, walked away.

He squared his shoulders, his back straight and took the long route back to the office he'd once called his own, sitting down at the desk and staring at the phone for a good five minutes before eventually picking up the receiver and pressing the number of an internal line, requesting to be put through to the right room in a no-nonsense tone that had the person on the other end transferring him immediately.

"Carter."

"My office. Five minutes. No excuses."

He hung up as she started to speak and sat back in his chair, staring at the door expectantly.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

She slammed the phone down so hard her MIU teammates jumped. Colonel Andrew Mason, US Marines, and Captain David Riley, US Air Force, raised their eyebrows but said nothing, continuing with their assigned tasks of setting up the conference room for the full debriefing of the extended team once the rest of the MIU agents arrived with the token FBI and CIA agents Sam had no choice but to approve for the investigation.

Former Commander in the Navy, Caitlin Adams, and former Colonel in the Air Force, Annie Bartley, exchanged slightly more sympathetic looks but Caitlin remained where she was, setting up the various pieces of computer equipment they'd brought with them. Annie moved away from the computer she'd been sitting at and walked over to the white board where Sam had been sticking up pictures of the victims.

Pictures of people they'd all known somehow, most of whom they'd actually met once or twice.

There were four photographs currently on the board and Annie knew them all personally, knew Sam had known them all personally. Three were MIU agents she'd worked with. The fourth was the second victim's wife.

"I'll finish up here." She eased the pen Sam had been writing with out of the clenched fist and moved forward to start writing the names and ages of the victims beneath their photographs. Like Sam, she didn't need to check the files. She already knew what to put. "Go and sort out whatever you need to sort out so you can come back and focus on the mission. You can't afford to be distracted, Sam, not now they've chosen you."

"I know but that's not going to be easy." Sam sighed deeply, the action of expelling her breath reminding her of the dull ache in her chest. The tension she knew she was stuck with until the investigation was over. She stared at the board, at the names appearing on it and sighed again. "They've asked Jack to come back to the SGC."

The pen stopped mid-name. Annie glanced back at her over her shoulder. "You started your relationship when he was still your Commanding Officer."

"Something I'm not proud of and really didn't want to do again. Something I won't do again." Sam rubbed her face with her hands before crossing her arms over her chest. "He's investigating several complaints made against General Landry."

"The jerk harassing you? Good." The look on Annie's face was one of satisfaction.

"Not so good when I have to make a statement." Sam bit her lip and glanced away, focusing on the pictures on the board. "Not when I hadn't told him what was going on."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." Sam sighed again. Straightened. "I better get it over with. Try and get past it so we can get these bastards."

She left after shrugging her shoulders, a failed attempt at ridding herself of some of the stress resting on her shoulders.

Annie watched her go, chewing her lip. She glanced back at the pictures on the board. Imagined a fifth image joining the four already there. "Let's hope we get them before they get you."

* * *

Eight minutes after slamming the phone down, Sam reached the General's office.

Jack's office.

She stood outside for another full minute, contemplating whether to knock or just walk straight in. She settled for knocking sharply and pushing the door opened before he could respond.

The sight of him sitting behind the desk temporarily knocked the breath from her lungs and she stopped just inside the doorway.

He was her commanding officer.

Again.

She turned to close the door behind her so she could swallow the lump in her throat without him seeing her reaction. Then she turned back to face him and took a step closer to the desk, standing stiffly in front of him. "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

"Sit down."

No Sam, no Carter. Not even a Colonel. Still, she took the seat across the desk from him and crossed her legs, folding her arms almost primly over her chest as she waited for him to speak.

"General Landry made several notes in your file. Four complaints that you disobeyed orders, three that your behaviour towards him was inappropriate. Were you aware of them?"

"He said he was going to put something on my record. I can't say I'm particularly surprised."

"Do you know why he would put those complaints in your file?"

"Probably because I disobeyed orders and behaved inappropriately towards him by refusing to sleep with him to further my career. Because even when he asked to speak to me alone I allowed the other members of my team to be present." Her hands gripped her arms but it was the only sign of agitation she'd allow to show through the calm façade.

"There are no complaints in anyone else's file. Not Teal'c or Daniel's."

"They're not military, it wouldn't affect them. Besides, they're not the ones he wanted to punish. They're not the ones he wanted to sleep with unless there was something going on I don't know about."

With a great deal more composure than he felt he should have, Jack closed the folder and let his hands rest atop it. Clasping them together until his knuckles ached. "Eight members of staff made complaints against him, six women and two men. Your name isn't on that list. If he harassed you, why didn't you make a complaint? Put a statement in your file to contradict what he said?"

"I didn't see the point, Sir. With all due respect, you have no idea what it can be like to be a woman in the Air Force. I don't want to play the gender card but in my experience women who make complaints generally don't last long in the military."

"You should have said something."

"I've just explained why I didn't."

"I meant to me."

"You weren't my commanding officer at the time, Sir. If you had been, General Landry wouldn't have been here and there'd be seven less complaints in my file."

The nerve in his jaw jumped. "That's not what I mean, Carter."

"Then what do you mean, Sir?"

"Damn it, Sam!"

To her credit, she managed to compose herself quickly after the paperweight that had been on the edge of his desk hit the floor with a bang.

Shattering into thousands of tiny pieces.

'Kind of like our relationship,' she mused inwardly.

"You should have told me. You should've said something so..." He broke off. Raked a hand through his hair in frustration.

Sam sat calmly, unfolding her arms to rest her hands on the arms of her chair. "I should've told you so you could defend my honour? Protect my reputation? So you could've said something, pissed off the wrong person and got us both into trouble? My reputation, my credibility, was damaged the moment we moved in together. Those who didn't already suspect we were involved while I was under your command started suspecting it. Landry was no different. I didn't need to tell you because I was handling it."

"Yeah, you were really handling it. That's why there are two statements from witnesses expressing concern for you. Witnesses who saw him behave inappropriately towards you. People are asking questions, Carter. They want to know why you didn't say anything. They want to know what you had to hide."

"And you're worried that's going to reflect badly on you? That they'll find out we were breaking regulations and decide they don't want you back?" Her hands tightened their grip on the chair. "The President is probably already aware of that, Sir. General Hammond knew, the Joint Chiefs probably knew. You're listed in my MIU file as next of kin and I know I sure as hell didn't change it. So don't worry, your position is safe as long as we put an end to our relationship before you're officially reinstated. No one will have any grounds for complaint then and they won't waste time going back to investigate the past."

"I haven't decided to come back, Sam. This is just a temporary thing..."

"A temporary thing you agreed to without consulting me."

"Like you agreed to go back to the MIU without consulting me."

"My position with the MIU doesn't affect our personal relationship." She sat up a little straighter in her chair. Swallowed the lump in her throat. "This does. This means it's over, temporarily or not. I guess it's a good thing I'll be moving out for the time being." She stood up, feeling his eyes on her. "Since you have witnesses, I assume you don't need me to go into details right now about any instances with General Landry. With your permission, Sir, I'd like to return to planning my briefing."

Jack stood, walked around his desk and stopped a foot away from her. He ran a hand through his hair and let his arm drop to his side. Itched to reach out and take her hand. "I don't know what to say to you."

"You don't need to say anything. Actions speak louder than words." She smiled, a sad smile that didn't last. "I knew all along that you missed it. Missed being involved in the action. I'd like to say I'm surprised but I guess I'm not. Hurt, maybe. A little disappointed given how determined you were not to let me walk away from this. From us. But I'm not surprised, Jack. I told you all along I'm no good at the relationship thing."

She walked to the door and opened it, took a small step over the threshold. As she had her back to him, she let her eyes close momentarily. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not being enough for you."

He might have gone after her had Sergeant Harriman not appeared the moment she walked away.

Walter Harriman glanced in the direction the Colonel had gone before glancing to General O'Neill, his expression apologetic as he held up the tape in his hand. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Sir, but I have the security footage you asked for. It's quite clear on the tape that General Landry was harassing Colonel Carter but we've found nothing to back up the claims of the other female personnel." He entered the office when the General motioned for him to, closed the door behind him. "If I could speak freely, Sir?"

"Go ahead, Sergeant."

"I think it's possible the other women may have exaggerated their claims, General, because they were witnesses to what was going on with Colonel Carter and knew she wouldn't say anything." Harriman stood at attention, his shoulders squared as Jack retook the seat behind his desk and stared at him curiously. "Colonel Carter believes she isn't very well liked by the other personnel at the SGC, particularly since you retired, Sir. I've observed that one or two members of staff seemed to begrudge her for it, that they may have blamed her for your deciding to leave and for General Landry's assignment here but that's all in the past now. Particularly now he's gone."

"You didn't like him, did you, Sergeant?"

"No, Sir." He held himself slightly taller. "I didn't think he was right for the position."

"And you didn't like the way he was around Carter? That's why you put in the complaint about him, made the statement?"

"I stand by my statement, Sir. One of the instances I mentioned, that I witnessed, has been caught on tape, Sir. You might be interested in watching it before you submit your report."

Jack stared at him for several long moments. Forced himself to push his personal feelings out of the way, to focus on the matter at hand.

He didn't like the thought of any of the officers under his command being the victim of harassment at work. Hated it even more when the victim in question was the woman he was involved with and hadn't trusted him enough to tell.

"Can you get a VCR and TV set up in here? I don't want to watch it in the briefing room in case someone comes in. The fewer people who know about this the better."

'For Carter's sake.'

* * *

Her team consisted of eight MIU agents, two FBI agents and a CIA agent who had experience of working with the SGC and had volunteered to help when she'd heard something was going on. CIA Agent Kerry Johnson was aware that the MIU existed, had crossed paths with them before and had jumped at the chance to work with the agent who worked under the codename Phoenix. She'd been surprised but not disappointed when Colonel Carter had moved to the front of the room and introduced herself as the MIU agent in question.

"We have three dead MIU agents. Two were assassinated in cold blood, one while undercover. The third was retired. He and his wife were killed in an arson attack on their home that these people have since taken responsibility for. So far we don't have a motive, a reason why these individuals were chosen. Those of you who have worked with me before will know that I don't like that. When I'm working on a case, I want to know the ins and outs, the whys and whens. Nothing about this is random. There's always a reason why and right now, that is our priority. I want to know why these people died. Why them in particular." Sam stood in front of them, her gaze travelling to rest on each and every member of her team. "We'll be splitting you up into three groups of three. Agent Bartley and myself will be overseeing the investigation. I want each group to focus on one of the victims. Do some digging into their backgrounds, into the projects they worked on, the cases they were involved with prior to their deaths. There's a link between them and we need to know what it is if we're going to keep this from happening to anyone else. Agent Bartley will give you your assignments and tell you what we know. Annie?"

With a brisk nod, Annie moved to stand beside Sam, making sure the victims photographs were still visible. She wanted their faces to be seen, to be remembered. To become as important to the people sitting in front of her as they were to her and Sam. "Our first victim was Major Ryan Marsay, an officer with the marines. He was based at the Pentagon, worked on a number of projects for the MIU. At the time of his death he was working undercover with the FBI which is why they'll be working with MIU agent Major Trident on this matter. Louise will be able to get easy access to Marsay's MIU records." Annie waited until all three members of the team nodded in acknowledgement before continuing. "Captain Riley will be working with Captain Alexander and Colonel Robb in the investigation into the death of Colonel Jeremy Bowers, a Colonel with the Air Force based at the Academy. His main role was the liase between the Air Force and the MIU Board of Directors. He often recommended Academy graduates for possible induction into the MIU but kept as far away from active cases as possible. Agent Johnson of the CIA will be assisting Agent Adams and Colonel Mason with the investigation into the murders of Paul and Charlotte McKellan. As two of the three teams victims lived in the Colorado Springs area, this will be our base of operations. The three of you who will need to relocate to DC will work out of the Pentagon. They'll make room for you there, assist you in any way you can. If there are any problems don't hesitate in contacting myself or Colonel Carter either here or on our cell phones."

Sam watched them digest the news, made a mental note regarding some of their reactions and stiffened instinctively when she noticed the uninvited guest who'd slipped in at the back of the room. "Does anyone have any questions before we split up?"

Somehow she was unsurprised when Belle Alexander, an MIU agent and Captain with the Air Force, held up her hand. The two women hadn't worked together before but Sam made it her business to check the backgrounds of those she worked with and Agent Alexander was someone who's record was slightly more colourful than someone she would have chosen to work with.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Since all of the victims have been MIU, why are the FBI and CIA involved? This is out of their jurisdiction."

"They're involved because they volunteered to help us find the people responsible for murdering three of our colleagues. Their support in this matter is appreciated by myself and the Board of Directors."

"But they're not even military." The disgust was evident on her face. "Let alone MIU."

Sam didn't even blink, just met Belle's gaze with her own and held. "That's irrelevant. The MIU currently consists only of military based personnel but as you are well aware the MIU investigate all government funded agencies. The FBI and CIA are our colleagues. I am aware that there is some long-standing tension between the three organisations but that's ancient history as far as the Board of Directors, this investigation and myself are concerned. If you have a problem working with them on this case, just say so and I'll have you reassigned." Belle remained silent but continued to scowl. Either at the external agents or at her words. Sam wasn't sure and didn't particularly care. "And for the record, I have heard from a reliable source that the MIU may soon start inducting external agents into the fold. You may soon find yourselves working on the same team on a permanent basis."

She sighed, knowing it would only take hours for the news to spread and debated with herself. She knew there would be MIU agents who objected, some who would threaten to walk and decided to minimise the chances of those reactions jeopardising her investigation. "Another thought for you to bear in mind. The people doing this, the ones responsible for the murders of the four people on the board behind me. They knew exactly where to find their victims, even our undercover agent. That information, the details of their whereabouts was not only confidential but need to know in some cases. The MIU isn't as perfect as some of you would like to believe. It has its problems and it has its leaks. Don't assume your enemy is someone from an external agency. That assumption might get you killed and might mean the next picture up on the board is yours."

With the warning issued, Sam called the briefing to a close. She let Annie deal with the task of dismissing the gathered agents, paid little attention to the distribution of the files she and her team had hurriedly gathered prior to the briefing and all but ignored the looks she received from the other members of her team.

She would have to explain herself to the Board of Directors on two accounts. She knew that. She'd have to explain why she'd let the cat out of the bag regarding the possibility of the MIU opening their doors to operatives outside of the US military but she figured she could handle that one by explaining Belle's reluctance to work with the FBI and CIA.

Hinting that there was someone inside the MIU helping out the people targeting agents was another story. A delicate, somewhat touchy subject made even more so by the not so recent exposure and death of an NID agent who had infiltrated the MIU some years ago. An agent who'd been her mentor, who had trained her.

An agent who had killed her partner and who had later died at her hand.

The MIU had only just recovered, only just rebuilt its reputation and started to trust its operatives wholly. Now thanks to her the distrust would start to spread again.

It hadn't been her intention and the thought hadn't occurred to her until halfway through Annie's speech when she'd realised what had been bothering her since she'd first been briefed and brought in on the investigation.

MIU agents were careful. They were trained to be constantly aware, constantly on the look out. Only another MIU agent or someone who knew one would have been able to not only locate the victims but slip passed their guard and get close enough to kill them without creating too much suspicion.

Without someone noticing sooner that the deaths were linked and not just a tragic coincidence resulting in the loss of four lives, of one innocent bystander.

Lives that had been taken too soon.

She didn't class MIU agents among the innocent though her heart ached for them and she cared a great deal for her colleagues. She was one; knew better than anyone how guilty they were. How much blood stained their hands even in the name of justice. She had killed, murdered, and although she always took care to assure herself the people she killed needed to be taken out of the equation she knew she wasn't innocent by anyone's standards.

There was black, there was white and there were all sorts of shades of grey. MIU agents were in general somewhere in the middle. Some she knew were closer to the darker side of the spectrum, some like the deceased Agent Bowers were firmly fixed near the white.

Her own position changed but was usually always near the line in the middle. Almost always a millimetre closer to the light side though sometimes she slipped.

Sometimes she couldn't convince herself what she'd done was right even if it was necessary.

"I want to talk to the guy we brought in this morning." Her voice took even her by surprise, as did the realisation twenty-four hours were yet to pass. "I want to know what he knows about the people he was working with, the one he was working for. There's a leak in the MIU. There has to be."

Annie and Jack were the only people left in the room with her, the others having left to start their own investigations. Annie sighed and shook her head. "I'll arrange it for first thing tomorrow morning. There are other matters that need your attention this afternoon. The Board will want to talk to you as soon as work reaches them that you think there's a leak. The President, too. He's taken a personal interest in the MIU since the Locksley incident."

"I'll deal with them." Sam took a deep breath, glanced passed Annie to the man standing with her. "Arrange it for tonight. I'm not going to sit back and take it easy when the others are out there working till the small hours. Besides, if there is a leak, the guy we brought in this morning might not be there tomorrow. I want him moved here, to a holding cell. I want him under armed guard and I want to speak to him tonight. No arguments, Annie. It's on my head. My hands if they get someone else."

"They don't want anyone else. They want you." Annie crossed her arms over her chest. "You'll make yourself an easy target if you wear yourself into the ground, Sam."

"She won't wear herself down, not while you're based in the mountain." Jack cut in before an argument could break out between the two women. He saw the question in Annie's eyes, the suspicion in Sam's. "There are a lot of people who'll be making sure of it, Annie. I promise."

Annie nodded, her expression changing to one of mild approval. "Good. See that she takes at least an hours personal time."

Turning on her heel, Annie left the conference room to work from the small office adjoined to it.

Shutting the door behind her discreetly.

"You have no authorisation over this investigation," Sam started, her eyes narrowed. "This is MIU territory. My territory. You can't just walk in here and gatecrash my briefings..."

"I can and I will." He crossed the gap between them in two easy steps, grabbed her arms and pulled her closer with a little less gentleness than intended. "You are mine. My territory, my responsibility." He pressed his lips against hers, the kiss a little harder than usual. "You promised to keep me involved."

Reeling slightly from the kiss, and the embrace she couldn't get herself out of, Sam did her best to glare at him. "That was before you became my commanding officer."

"Actually, I'm not." He tightened his hold on her, a small part of his mind enjoying her struggle. "I just got off the phone with the President. He's agreed to let me take over, temporarily, on a civilian basis. And since you're assigned to the MIU for the duration of this investigation... I can do this as much as I want and no one can say anything about it."

He kissed her again, thoroughly. Kept on kissing her until the hands pushing against his chest moved so one was clutching his shoulder and the other was playing idly with his hair.

"Maybe I will take a break. For an hour or so." She looked at him, feeling some of the stress ease from her stomach, replaced by tension of a different kind. Replaced by hope. "I should warn you in advance I'm going to be unbearable until this investigation's over. I'll be distracted and short tempered and I'll be working long hours and if we make plans, I'll probably end up forgetting about them..."

"Same as usual, then." He loosened his hold slightly, leaned in to kiss her forehead tenderly. "About before..." The humour, the relief faded from his expression. "When you apologised for not being enough..."

"Forget about it." She covered herself with a smile he knew was too bright to be genuine. "You know how I get about relationships. I'm not the securest person in the world. Just forget about it. It doesn't matter."

He thought it did but chose not to push it. Instead he released her and ushered her from the room, from the faces looking at them from the white board in the centre. They would talk about it later, about everything later, when she wasn't so distracted with a case that could cost her her life.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

He cracked one eye open and watched her move around her quarters, her actions as fluid and efficient as they were in other matters. He could almost see the wheels in her head turning, could almost see the energy crackling around her and wondered not for the first time how she could function on so little sleep.

And food, he remembered. They hadn't made it to the mess hall despite his original intentions.

He knew the moment she realised she was being watched, saw her back straighten just that little bit more before she turned to face him, shirt unfastened over her tank top.

"Hey. I thought you were sleeping." The smile she gave him was genuine but it didn't last very long. There was too much going on in her eyes, in her mind, for it to stay there for long. Still, she walked over to him, sat on the edge of the bed and leaned down to kiss him softly.

He reached for her but she evaded his hands, getting back to her feet gracefully and resuming the task of fastening the buttons on her shirt. "Another hour wouldn't hurt, Carter."

"You said that half an hour ago. I've got to get back to work, Jack, and so do you."

"The paperwork can wait a little bit longer." He rolled onto his side, watched her start the search for her boots. "I'm going to need to talk to you again. About Landry."

Sam busied herself with sitting down in the chair his clothes were non-too-neatly draped over so she could fasten her boots. "When?"

"My preliminary report's due tomorrow afternoon. Sam." He sat up, held out a hand. Almost smiled in relief when she took it after a split seconds hesitation. "Sergeant Harriman showed me a tape he compiled from security footage. I saw three clear incidents where Landry behaved inappropriately towards you. Once in your lab, once in the briefing room and once in the elevator. Added to that, Harriman made a statement about an incident he interrupted in Landry's office. He said he intervened because he was concerned Landry was going to get violent."

She stepped closer when he tugged on her hand but her gaze strayed from his face. "I was waiting for him to get violent. Part of me hoped he would because then I could hurt him back. I could've fought back and cited self-defence. I wanted that." She let her eyes meet his. "I wanted the chance to show him what I was made of, to make him back off without the need for the red tape or the smudge this is going to leave in my file."

"At least this smudge will mean the complaints against you can be erased completely. Forgotten about." His thumb moved over her knuckles. "I still wish you'd come to me about it but I kind of understand why you didn't."

She looked down at their hands, at the thumb stroking her skin. He was always touching her, she realised. Since they'd officially become a couple, he was always finding little ways of establishing physical contact. Subtle ways, discreet so they weren't easily noticed but it spoke volumes about their relationship, about the intimacy they shared. She watched his thumb caress her knuckles again, felt the familiarity in the soft touch and decided she didn't mind it. She maybe even liked it. A lot.

She'd hated it when Landry touched her. When he brushed up against her accidentally even though there was no need for it, when his foot moved to her calf under the briefing room table and his eyes danced as the oily smile spread over his lips. She hated it when he touched her knee when she had to sit in the chair beside his during the weekly meetings between him and the other team leaders. She knew a few of the others had noticed it, some even commented on it and glared at the General on her behalf but it didn't make a difference. No one could switch places with her without having to discuss it and because she hadn't wanted to take that route, no one had moved.

And his hand had kept finding its way to her knee, sometimes attempting to move higher, even after she jerked her leg so his hand got trapped between it and the table, sometimes cracking against the wood so hard it brought tears to his eyes.

"Some of the things he said were about you." She kept her eyes on his thumb, watching it change direction, letting it soothe. "He tried to threaten me with your career, saying he could put in a request for an inquiry into the way you ran things here, into our relationship. Into why you chose me for SG-1, why I was promoted so soon after you. It would've looked bad. Your reputation would be smeared, your career blemished. Our relationship would have been investigated and I was worried we wouldn't survive it. That he'd somehow manage to ruin it, that he'd somehow manage to belittle everything we have and make it feel ashamed of it. I didn't want that to happen so I didn't tell you. If I did you would've wanted to get involved and it would've just got worse." Her eyes lifted, came to rest on his face searchingly. "I was handling it in my own way. I wasn't ignoring it and I wasn't going to just let him get away with it."

He tugged on her hand, drawing her down onto the bed so she could rest her head on his shoulder while his arm went around her. He turned his head, kissed her hair. "I wish I didn't need to make you talk about it, for the record."

"The sooner I do, the sooner we can put it behind us. Assuming your report will be enough."

He squeezed her shoulders. "If he's smart he'll admit to the charges and accept what they decide to do."

"What if he doesn't? What if it goes to court martial and I have to testify? They'll ask questions, ask about us."

"If it comes to that I'll be right there beside you. Like you said before, the chances are that most people knew about us anyway. They just chose to overlook it."

She snorted softly. "Probably because we know too much. We've seen too much. Between the two of us we could make life pretty damn uncomfortable for the guys at the top."

"Until they decided to take us out of the picture."

"You mean assassinate us?" She pulled away slightly, looked up at him with a partially amused look on her face. "That'd never happen. They'd have to use the MIU to do it and that wouldn't work. Annie's on the Board of Directors, she wouldn't let it go ahead. And General Hammond," she added, reluctantly breaking away and getting to her feet. "I'm pretty sure he'd object."

"General Hammond's on the Board of Directors of the MIU?" She didn't need to turn around to see the look of surprise on his face. "Since when?"

"I'm not entirely sure, since I retired, I guess. He didn't have anything to do with the MIU before I retired and he wasn't pleased when he found out there was a MIU agent under his command at the SGC, either. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face when he called me into his office to discuss it." She paused thoughtfully, then shook her head, shaking away the memory. "Guess something must've happened to change his opinion."

"I'm guessing that something was you." Deciding he'd rather get up and do some work for the remainder of the afternoon than stay in her quarters without her, Jack started collecting his clothes. He paused in the process of dressing to question her as she walked passed him in the direction of the door. "Meet you in the mess in an hour?"

"Make it two and you've got yourself a date."

* * *

It was a date she wouldn't make. On arriving in the conference room, Sam found Annie waiting for her, a troubled expression on her face.

"What? What is it?"

Annie stood up from the desk she'd been working on, wincing a little as tired muscles pulled and protested. "The prisoner, Major Platt, was found dead in his cell when the SF's went to get him ready for transportation."

Sam swallowed the words that bubbled up in her throat and crossed her arms over her chest to keep herself from lashing out. Her eyes sharpened and the tension that had eased from her body returned with vengeance. "Suicide?"

"No." Annie bit her lip. "Murder." She waited a beat, watched the emotions run across Sam's face. Listened to her swear. "You were right. These people have an in. There's another spy inside the MIU." Annie straightened, her expression warring with sympathy and simmering anger. "The Board have called a conference to start via satellite in ten minutes. I'll tell you now that they want to reassign you, give me this case so you can get working on finding out just how many rats we have."

"That would take months. Maybe years."

"I know."

"This is a temporary reassignment. I'm retired." Sam blinked. Her hands clenched. "I agreed to come back for the duration of this investigation."

"I know, Sam. But they want you back for longer. Permanently."

"We don't always get what we want." Sam inhaled deeply, uncrossed her arms and shook them, clenching and unclenching her hands. She shrugged her shoulders, grimacing when it did nothing to relieve the knot building in them and glanced at the computer already set up and ready to go, then at her watch.

She had less than two hours to tell a dozen of her superiors that she wasn't following orders.

Not this time.

No matter what the consequences.

* * *

Two hours, thirty-four minutes later, he sat alone in the mess hall, drumming his fingers on the table. The mess staff had left just after eight o'clock, with the cook throwing him what he deciphered as being a pitying look as he scurried out, no doubt on his way home.

No doubt to meet with his partner or wife who would actually be where she was supposed to be when she was supposed to be there.

When a glance at his watch revealed it was almost nine pm, Jack pushed his chair back with a dejected sigh. He stood, stretched and took his time clearing the table of the dishes he'd grabbed before the hot food counter had closed.

He heard the doors open behind him but didn't turn. Just continued scraping the cold remains into the trash.

"I'm sorry."

Still, he didn't turn.

Her arms went around him from behind and she let her chin rest on his shoulder. "I'm really, really sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

She sighed. He felt her breath against his neck. "If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one who's mad at me."

Because there was something in her voice that didn't sound right, Jack turned around to face her.

And immediately wound his arms around her and drew her close. "What happened?"

"What didn't happen?" Her voice was muffled against his chest. "My only link to the bastards was found murdered in his cell so we've got at least one rogue MIU agent on the loose and you know how much I love dealing with those. The Board are all out for my blood and the President has asked to see me in person tomorrow because I refused to follow a direct order and I don't know when these people are going to strike again and who they're going to target next and if anyone else dies it'll all be my fault because I can't do this. I can't find my focus, I can't concentrate. It's been too long, Jack. You can't retire and then go back to this kind of thing. It doesn't work like that." She pulled back, her eyes glittering. "I can't do it. I can't find them and I can't stop them and I can't keep them from hurting anyone else."

He took her hand and led her back to the table he'd vacated, ushered her into a seat and dragged a chair of his own close to hers. He couldn't stay angry with her, not when she had a good reason for being late. Not when he remembered there'd been plenty of times in the past when he'd cancelled at short notice or stood her up because business at the SGC had kept him away. "Breathe, Sam. And try to remember you're not wonder-woman. You can't do everything and save everyone."

His hand covered hers again, brought it to his lips so he could lay a kiss in her open palm.

She sighed but didn't agree with him. Just looked at him with a troubled expression. "I'm sorry I'm late. I should've called or sent someone to tell you."

"You're here now and that's what's important. Isn't that what you told me?" He grinned to himself at the flicker of recollection in her eyes, at the small ghost of a smile that slipped over her face. "Now. Take me through it one thing at a time. The guy you got this morning was murdered?"

Her face blanched and her shoulders slumped. "I forgot it was only this morning. Feels like it's been a few days at least." She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, closing her eyes momentarily while she regrouped. "His body was found when the SF's went to get him ready to be brought here. It was definitely murder, a bullet to the head. They didn't even attempt to cover it up. They wanted me to know they're close, closer than the Board want to admit."

"The Board being the Board of Directors? Of which Annie and General Hammond are members?"

"That's right. We had a conference via satellite. The President was there. They've apparently found out I told me team I suspected someone within the MIU and weren't happy with it. Then the body was found and they realised I was right and didn't like it. So they called a meeting, ordered me to be part of it." Her gaze travelled to their hands then back to his face. "They want to take me off this case and put me onto the investigation into the rogue MIU agents we've got on the inside. They said I handled the Locksley matter efficiently enough even if I did involve a civilian and take eight years to do it and that I was the only person they trusted to do the job and do it right. It would mean I'd be reassigned to MIU headquarters in Washington."

"Okay. Two points. One," he squeezed her fingers for emphasis. "I assume I'm the civilian they referred to. Not only does that insult me, it also annoys me. You didn't get me involved. Locksley did. He ordered me to kill you, then attacked and subdued me and used me as bait to get at you. Two. You're only doing this as a favour to them. You retired. They can't order you to change your mind. And even if you did, it wouldn't be so bad as long as it's what you want. I could learn to like DC if I had to."

"You would move to DC?"

"If you did."

"Really?"

The astonishment on her face would have made him laugh if it wasn't for the warning bells going off in his head. "Why are you surprised by that?"

"I don't know." The way she shrugged and glanced away didn't fill him with confidence. "I guess I can't see you living anywhere but here. Other than Minnesota. Colorado's your home."

"It hasn't always been. I was born in Chicago, you know. Spent quite a few years there."

"And I bet you hated every single minute of it." The smile was strained at best and her gaze came to rest just to the side of his face. "It's irrelevant anyway. I told them no. Several times. It's why the President's asked to see me when he's here tomorrow."

"When we're done having this conversation, you can tell me more about the President coming here tomorrow and why I'm only just finding out about it now."

"I thought that was the conversation we were having."

"No, you're trying to distract me from the conversation you were trying to get out of." He let go of her hand, crossing his arms over his chest. He leaned back in his chair and studied her seriously. "Why don't you get that this relationship is a long-term, permanent thing?"

She blinked. "I do get that it's a long-term, permanent thing. As permanent as relationships get, anyway."

"See, that's what I'm talking about. The scepticism. The self-doubt and the always expecting it to go wrong and either trying to walk out on me or expecting me to walk out on you. It was never like this before."

"Before what?"

"Before there was nothing standing in our way. Before you lost your safety net. Are you sure you're not getting cold feet because you've realised regulations aren't an issue so there's nothing stopping this – us – from being more than a temporary thing?"

His eyes burned into hers but she found herself unable to look away.

"That's not it at all."

"Isn't it?"

"No. I don't know." She ran her hands over her face, then folded her arms defensively. "I love you. You know I love you. But sometimes I get scared and I worry about this not working out. We've put so much into this relationship, built up fantasies of what it would be like for eight years... I know how important this is, I know how much I need you in my life and not only does that scare the hell out of me, the thought of losing it, of losing you... It would hurt so much, Jack. I don't know if I'm brave enough to find out if I could get through this ending."

"So that's why you're holding back. Because you're scared?" His face was blank, his eyes cool. "Of all the things you are, Carter, I never thought a coward was one of them."

"A coward?"

"That's what you are. You were fine with this when we were breaking regulations. Maybe a little reluctant to actually disobey the regs but things between us were fine. And now they're not there, now there's nothing stopping us from being together for real, you're constantly poking holes. Constantly trying to find fault when there is none. Next thing I know, you'll be accusing me of sleeping with someone else just because things have been going too well for too long." He unfolded his arms, ran a hand through his hair. Pushed his chair back away from the table and stood. "I'm tired of being the one doing the chasing. I'm tired of having to convince you I'm not going anywhere."

"So instead of convincing me you're not going anywhere, you're actually going to go. You're walking out on me."

"I'm not going anywhere you can't go. When you're ready." He paused beside the table, looking down on her. "You know where I'll be."

Part of him expected her to call him back. It was what he was hoping for.

She didn't.

She didn't even look up at him, watch him go.

Jack paused in the doorway, glanced back at her. Her head lowered, her shoulders slumped. Her whole posture screamed defeat but he wouldn't let himself go back. Wouldn't give in and take her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay.

It wouldn't.

Not until she was honest with them both.

It surprised him that he was the one with the level head. The one holding it together while she had all of the doubts and insecurities. Given his history, his failed marriage, he had expected to be the cautious one in the relationship.

Instead he was the one with stars in his eyes, stars that had blinded him to the truth.

Sam Carter wasn't ready for a relationship. Not an official, out in the open, no holds barred relationship that could go as far as they wanted to take it.

There had to be a reason for it. Something she wasn't telling him about, maybe something she didn't want to remember or didn't realise was holding her back. Holding them back.

He left the mess hall, started for her – their – quarters before realising he'd needed to find somewhere else to sleep. Determined to find out the reason for her behaviour, determined to find a way to get around it.

Determined to give her time to find him first.

* * *

Sam didn't make it to her quarters. She left the mess hall an hour after he'd left her, her head spinning with too many thoughts and fears and doubts. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep so didn't see the point in trying. Instead she went back to the conference room the MIU had taken over, grabbed a fresh cup of coffee and sat down at her laptop, preparing for an all nighter spent scrolling through all and any information she could find on the people in the photographs, her only companions for the night.

It was approaching three in the morning when the phone rang at her desk, startling her. The cold cup of coffee – the fifth or sixth she'd helped herself to – was only just caught in time to stop the contents from spilling over her notes. She scowled at her own clumsiness and picked up the receiver.

"Carter."

"Colonel Carter. You sound tired."

The voice had her sitting up straighter. Made her hand tighten around the cup.

"I thought you would like to know that Colonel Robb won't be attending your briefing this morning. She isn't feeling so well."

Colonel Robb. Katrina Robb, one of the members of her team. She searched her mind, put a face to the name. Working with Alexander and Riley, looking into the murder of Colonel Jeremy Bowers.

"Where is she?"

The voice laughed at her, the amusement in it setting her on edge. "She has a room at the motel on Commerce Drive. It's too late for her now, Colonel."

The line went dead.

She slammed the receiver back down onto its cradle and released the cold coffee from the death grip I was in. Pausing only to collect her cell phone and jacket, Sam left the conference room, a sense of urgency driving her into a half-run.

His words reverberated in her mind, distracting her as she bumped into a SF, and she quickened her pace even more.

'It's too late for her now.'

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

She returned to the SGC six hours later, a folder of crime scene photographs in her hand, dried blood staining her pants and jacket. A smear of blood across of her forehead where she'd rubbed her head with a stained hand did nothing for her, a dark smudge against an otherwise bloodless complexion.

All members of her team other than Annie and Agent Robb were gathered in the conference room and silence fell the moment she stalked into the room.

"Where's Annie?"

"She's in the briefing room. The President's here and some of the Board members." Andrew was the first to react, taking a step towards her with concern in his eyes. "Robb's dead, isn't she?"

"Yeah. She is." Sam stared at the white board through dull eyes. "Find her photo ID. Put it with the others. I'm going to get Annie, catch her up on a few things. We'll debrief here at 1300 hours. Get a few hours sleep. You're going to need it."

God knew she needed it herself but as she talked out of the room, folder still clutched tightly to her, she knew she wouldn't be sleeping for a long time to come. Every time she closed her eyes she saw one of two faces and both were enough to chase all thoughts of sleep from her mind.

Agent Robb, her glassy eyes confused and scared. Blood everywhere. So much blood. A jagged line across the pale skin of her throat.

Her teammates would be seeing her face in their nightmares as soon as she showed them the photographs in her hand and she was determined to let them be oblivious to the horror for a few more hours at least.

The second face was one only a few of them would see, that only those she'd worked with before would know and remember.

Elizabeth Masters. Her former partner, best friend and the reason she struggled to meet her own eyes when she looked in the mirror. The reason she carried guilt around in her heart no matter where she went or what she did.

People looked at her as she stalked passed them, some with alarm in their eyes as they got close enough to really look at her. Close enough to see the blood, close enough to smell it. Close enough to see the bruises under her eyes and the fury on her face.

She didn't knock on the briefing room door, didn't stop to think about storming into a room filled with not only several of her superiors but also the President of the United States.

"You have another dead MIU agent on your hands," she declared, marching to the top of the table where the President sat. She barely noticed Jack sitting beside him, barely registered that he didn't belong there. "A damn good one who wouldn't have let someone she didn't know and trust get close to her."

"Colonel Carter..." The voice came from behind her, from a member of the Board she didn't recognise but she didn't bother turning to glare at whoever it was.

Didn't have to because the President held up his hand to keep the rest of the warning at bay. "I understand that this would be upsetting to you, Colonel Carter, but you can't let yourself get involved on a personal level..."

"It is personal." She slammed the folder she carried onto the table, welcoming the sting in her palm. She flipped it opened, spread the photographs inside on the table in front of him, ignoring the various gasps and mumbled comments from around the room. "It's personal when a member of my team gets her throat slit just miles from where we are. It's personal when these bastards leave her to bleed to death then call me to let me know where I can find her body. It's personal when I have to put another photograph of someone I knew on the damn board. It's fucking personal when they kill her in exactly the same way Darren Locksley chose to kill everyone the people sitting in this room ordered him to kill." She didn't take her gaze from the President's face, watched him swallow hard as his colour faded. "Look at them. Look at her. I want you to be see her face when you try and sleep tonight because it's not fair that I should have to when you don't."

"Colonel Carter, you are way out of line."

She spun on her heel at the warning, fixed Admiral Michaels with a glare. "No, you are way out of line. All of you. You order us into these situations, forgetting what it's like. You sleep easy while we get our hands bloody and I've had enough of it. It isn't fair. This is what I see every night when I try to sleep. I see people like Katrina Robb, like Elizabeth Masters. I see their bodies, the life drained out of them. I have their blood on my hands because you give me orders from your comfortable seats in your plush offices with the nice view and I am so fucking sick of it. I have their deaths on my conscience, the guilt on my heart because I didn't get there in time to stop it from happening. You sit there and you give us orders and expect us to follow them without stopping to think what it's doing to us. The loyal little foot soldiers you boss around and make do the dirty work you can't stomach anymore. This work is destroying us and you don't care because you've forgotten what it's like. You're safe; your names don't go on the mission reports, on the closed cases. These bastards don't target you because you're inaccessible. We aren't. They come after us and kill us and kill the people we care about making us scared to care about anyone else and I can't do it anymore. I won't do it anymore. I'm sick of letting them and you dictate what I can and can't do with my life. I'm tired of spending sleepless nights remembering the faces of the dead, the people I couldn't protect, worrying that the next face I see will be someone I love."

Her gaze wandered around the room, resting on each of them in turn. Some wouldn't meet her gaze, their downcast eyes showing their guilt.

"An MIU agent doesn't last very long on active duty. They get promoted to the Board like you if they're lucky or they ask to resign or retire and for some of them, you actually let that happen. The rest of us don't get that chance. We get to sit around wondering how it's going to end for us. Wondering if we're going to die or if we're just going to burn out and self-destruct. I tried to get out once and you wouldn't let me. When this is over, if I'm still alive, I want out. I wouldn't be surprised if half of the MIU agents you currently have decide they want out, too. Being an MIU agent... It used to be an honourable thing. It used to mean we were doing what was good and what was right but somewhere along the way, what's good and right got muddied and now it doesn't mean a damn thing. We're feared by those who don't understand what we are, hated and despised by those who know what we are because we're seen as the internal enemy and that's not how it should be. It's not how it was. I used to be able to look myself in the eye and feel good about the person I am. The MIU has taken that ability from me. I hate who I am, what I've become. I can't..."

She paused, swallowed hard and fought to keep her gaze from moving to rest on the General sitting beside the President. "I can't be a normal person because of what I've seen and done as a result of the orders you've given me. I can't have a relationship without thinking that I don't deserve it, without worrying that it's going to end as soon as the man I love one day looks at me and sees me for the murderer I am. It's bad enough being on the frontline and having to kill the enemy to defend the planet but when you add that to the other lives I've taken, the people from this world I've been ordered to kill, it gets too much. Way too much. I will finish this investigation and do my best to get the people responsible for this but I want nothing more to do with the MIU after that. Nothing. You want people dead, you can kill them yourselves. You can try living with it because I can't."

She picked up two of the photographs and turned on her heel, stalking out of the room with her head held high. She was breathing heavily and her chest ached with the effort but she was determined to stay in control.

Determined to ignore the way her hands shook, the way her legs trembled with every step.

She got as far as the elevators, got as far as trying to swipe her card through the slot with a hand she couldn't keep still before catching a glimpse of her reflection in the shiny metal of the doors.

Caught a glimpse of the blood on her forehead.

She felt a hand close over hers where she kept trying and failing to summon the elevator, and was distantly aware of an arm going around her waist as she crumpled to the floor.

Annie wrapped her arms around her trembling body, bent her head to cradle Sam as a mother would a distressed child. "It's okay, Sam. It's okay, baby."

"It's not okay." Her voice was strained; heavy with tears she wouldn't let herself cry. "It'll never be okay. I hate myself, Annie. I can't... I wish he'd killed me instead. Instead of Liz, instead of Katrina. It's horrible to say but I wish they were alive and I wasn't."

"You don't mean that, honey. You're just tired and upset." Annie held her close, barely glancing up at the soft footsteps from the direction of the briefing room. She saw the question on his face and shook her head slightly. She watched in approval as he stopped but didn't turn and walk away. She glanced to her left when the doors of the elevator opened, raising an eyebrow at the two men inside it. She didn't know them personally but she recognised them from the reports she'd read and the small details she'd managed to get out of Sam over the years. "Let's get you to your quarters, okay? You need to wash up, get something to eat and then get some sleep."

"Can't. Can't sleep. I don't want to see their faces anymore. I killed them. All of them. They're all dead because of me."

* * *

Annie managed to get her to her quarters with a little help from Jack. She hadn't been surprised when Teal'c and Doctor Jackson had wanted to follow and although their concern had both touched and pleased her, she was grateful when General O'Neill asked them quietly to give Sam some space.

She eased the photographs out of Sam's hand, turned them face down and left them on the small dresser in the corner of the room. With the care of a mother, she pushed Sam towards the bed and wrapped a blanket around the younger woman's shoulders as shivers wracked her frame.

"Get her something to eat? And a cup of hot chocolate or sweet tea." Annie didn't stop to think that she was ordering a higher-ranking officer. She'd stopped thinking of herself as a Colonel a long time ago and considered herself his superior due to the difference in their ages.

To his credit, Jack didn't protest. He slipped silently out of the room to do as she'd asked, returning less than ten minutes later with a tray of food. He set the tray down on the bed beside Sam and glanced around for Annie. He heard the tap running in the tiny en-suite that held nothing more than a sink and a toilet and took the initiative, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her. "You need to eat something, Carter."

She'd pulled the blanket up over her face while he'd been gone so her response was muffled. "I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten in over twenty four hours. I don't care if you're hungry or not, you need something on your stomach other than the gallons of coffee you've no doubt tried drowning yourself in." He reached for her, untangled the blanket until he could see the top of her head.

She lifted her face from her knees and glared at him though there was no genuine anger on her face. "What do you care? You walked out on me."

"I didn't walk out on you. I backed off to give you space because you wouldn't talk to me." He picked up the cup of hot chocolate and pushed it into her hand. "If you won't eat, you'll drink."

She scowled at him but took the cup. "Go away, Jack. This doesn't concern you."

"You concern me." He watched her sip the drink, gave an approving nod. "Why didn't you tell me last night how you felt? Could've saved us both a sleepless night."

"It doesn't matter now, does it? You've made your choice."

"I chose to wait for you to be honest about how you felt. You were honest in the briefing room today. Brutally honest." A smile touched his eyes "Hadn't quite expected you to shout at the President but at least you stopped holding it in."

"I shouted at the President." She repeated it in a surprised tone, staring into her cup. "Oops."

"It's nothing he isn't used to." Annie said briskly, walking over to sit on the other side of her, a wet cloth in hand. "God knows I've shouted at him enough since I met him."

Sam snorted, flinched slightly at the cold cloth against her forehead. "It's slightly different, Annie. You're sleeping with him. You're allowed." She glanced to the people either side of her when silence fell, unsure as to which expression was more amusing. "Was it supposed to be a secret?"

Annie glared at her. "It was supposed to be a secret from everyone. Including you."

"I make it my business to keep track of what you're doing as much as you keep track of what I'm doing." Sam sipped the hot chocolate again, studiously ignoring the man on her right. "Did you know Andrew and Caitlin started dating last year?"

"I was aware of it and stop trying to change the subject." Annie resumed her task of wiping Sam's face clear of blood. "You and the General were having a conversation before I interrupted. Finish it."

"It was finished."

"No it wasn't." Jack interrupted with a quick glare at her. "Not by a long shot. However I'd rather we don't have it in front of an audience..."

It was Annie's turn to snort. "This is your only chance, General. You walk out that door without having had this conversation and she'll shut you out for good. I know because I've done it before. With Henry." She smiled softly at the identical looks of surprise on their faces. "I knew Henry before I was inducted into the MIU, Sam. Before he got married. I made the mistake of shutting him out of my life because I didn't want to put him at risk and he moved on."

"You and President Hayes were involved before he was the President?" Sam gaped at her. "How did I not know this?"

"I believe you were a little too young at the time." The corners of Annie's eyes crinkled and she smiled indulgently. "It was a long time ago, Sam. You were still in high school. The MIU hadn't touched you then." Her smile slipped and she touched Sam's cheek tenderly. "I wish it still hadn't."

"Me too." Sam leaned into the touch but her eyes were serious as they locked with Annie's. "It's not your fault. You gave us the choice to join the MIU. You didn't make it an order. It's my fault I'm here, not yours. I made my own choices."

"If you say so." But the guilt didn't fade from her eyes. "But make the right choice now, Sam. Talk to him." She got to her feet, cast Jack a knowing look. "I'll go and brief the others, make sure they follow orders and get some sleep and then I'm coming back to make sure you're okay. I'll be half an hour at most." She left quietly, taking the photographs with her, wishing it was as easy to take the memories from Sam's mind.

"I didn't know that." Sam mused aloud, her gaze once again drawn to the cup in her hands. "I knew there was someone important in her life she'd lost but I assumed he was dead. The way she talked about him sometimes when we got drunk..." She shook her head and sighed softly. "I know we need to talk about this but I don't know what to say."

Jack reached for the cup and took it out of her hands, placing it on the tray before sliding out of the way. "You said everything I needed to hear in the briefing room. Now you need to listen." He shifted slightly so that he was almost sitting in front of her. "You should know better than to think I'm going to turn my back on you. You know some of what I've done, Sam. You know I followed orders and killed people, too. I was ordered to kill you if you remember. And I would have done it if you hadn't told me you were my mark. Hell, I did shoot you. I almost killed you and that's something I have to live with." He lifted a hand to her face when she looked at him, stilling her lips with a gentle finger. "I see faces, too," he murmured, keeping his eyes on hers. "I see people I've killed, people I didn't know but who I was told was the enemy. I see the faces of the people who kept me prisoner in Iraq, the ones who tortured me and I wish I could kill them. I see my son and I see you."

"You didn't kill me and you aren't to blame for Charlie."

"It doesn't matter. You're not to blame for following orders. You're not to blame for Liz or the agent who died today. You still see their faces." His second hand moved to join the first and he cupped her face, holding her tenderly. "Do you see a murderer when you look at me, Sam? A killer?" He felt her try to shake her head, caught the tear that escaped with his thumb. "That's what I see when I look at my reflection and I worry every single day that you're going to look at me and see it too and wonder why you're with me. I don't see a killer when I look at you. I see a beautiful woman with more brains in her little finger than half of the people I know have in their heads. I see the woman who stayed awake all night to watch over Daniel when he decided to drown his sorrows when Sha're died. I see the woman who spent a whole day sitting beside Teal'c's bed when he was recovering from losing his symbiote. I see the woman I love who for some crazy reason I don't understand seems to love me back. You're not a murderer, Sam. You're just you."

She sniffed and lifted her hands to cover his, taking them away from her face and holding them. "Thank you. I don't deserve you to be this understanding. I've been... I hate how I've been acting recently. I hate knowing I've hurt you. It's just... Like you said there should be nothing holding us back now but it didn't feel like that to me."

"Didn't as in past tense?" He brought one of her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "So it feels like it now?"

The smile she gave him was watery at best. "I have to get through this case first. I have to get justice for Katrina and the others. I have to make sure no one else gets killed and then..." She took a deep breath, let it out on a sigh. "Then can we forget the last few days or however long it takes to wrap this up ever happened?"

He didn't answer, just let go of her hands and wrapped his arms around her, letting his chin rest on her head as she shuffled closer. He heard her sigh, felt her relax against him. Listened as her breathing evened out and gradually deepened.

"I guess two out of three isn't bad," Annie commented from her place resting against the doorway. She smiled – slightly – when he looked up at her. "I can trust you to take care of her from here, can't I? Make sure she eats something, get her to change into something clean. I've pushed the briefing back to 1500 hours because we could all use some sleep and if she wakes up after then and realises we're all gone, tell her it's all under control."

"I will."

"Good." Annie nodded at him and turned on her heel, closing the door softly behind her.

He shifted them carefully, trying not to jostle Sam too much, until they were as near to lying down as they could get on the small bed with the tray perched at the bottom of it. When she whimpered in her sleep, her brow furrowing as the faces entered her dreams, he tightened his arms around her and murmured, no real words just soothing noises.

She calmed down, the faces haunting her fleeing for a while and he let his own eyes close, hoping that the only face he saw as he slept was hers, smiling at him because it was over. Because it was finished and they were both alive.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Her watch told her it was midday. Her growling stomach told her it was lunchtime.

Sam muttered to herself as she stirred, frowning even before she opened her eyes when she realised she was very much alone. Maybe she'd dreamt that Jack had been with her, maybe they hadn't made up after all...

"So you're awake. Good."

She pushed herself up onto her elbow in time to see him shut the door behind him with his foot, juggling a tray of two plates piled high. "Hey."

"Hey." With an easy grin, he walked towards her, set the tray down on the bed beside her then leaned down to kiss her upturned face. "I figured you'd be hungry. And that you'd want to change." He pulled back and motioned to the clean clothes already out and neatly folded on the chair beside the dresser. "It's up to you whether you get cleaned up or eat first."

Sam glanced down at her clothes, winced at the sight of dried blood and pushed herself up. She scooped the folded clothes up from the chair, surprised but pleased she'd managed to sleep for a few hours with her boots on so she didn't have to worry about finding them and walked passed him towards the door. "It's okay if I go for a shower first?"

"Sure. It's just some sandwiches and fruit."

"And jello," she noted with a smile. "Blue and red."

Jack grinned. "Always."

She ducked out of the room, keeping his grin in mind as she walked quickly to the locker room, keeping her head lowered to avoid the gazes of the people she passed. She didn't know if anyone had witnessed her small breakdown earlier but knew that if anyone had, word would have spread like wildfire.

She didn't want to see it in their eyes if they had.

Didn't want to know if anyone thought any less of her.

She showered quickly, rubbing her skin with the soap so hard she was sure there would be bruises. Her old clothes were discarded. She didn't want them, not even if the bloodstains were dealt with. Dressed in clean clothes, she felt slightly better.

Slightly more human.

She paused before slamming her locker door shut, staring at her reflection in the small mirror on the inside of the door.

Met her own gaze and held it.

Remembered Jack's words, tried seeing the woman he saw.

She smiled sadly, unable to see her, but relieved that the feelings she usually felt on staring at her own reflection didn't surface. It was the first step, and the first step was always the hardest. Especially on an uphill climb but at least she wasn't alone.

At least she had someone behind her, beside her. Someone to share the journey with.

She kept that thought in mind as she returned to her quarters, almost jogging towards them. She kept it in mind as she sat down to a light lunch and sat through the official questions he had to ask about Landry, taking the hand he offered her and grasping it tightly.

She kept it in mind as she went alone to the conference room, to face her team and do her best to answer any questions they might have about their murdered teammate.

God knew she had questions of her own but there was no one there to answers hers. No one but the people responsible could do that.

"Hey, Sam." Caitlin greeted her with a soft smile, walking towards her with a steaming cup in hand. Tea, Sam guessed. Annie would've told them all not to let her drink any more coffee. "Annie said you got a bit upset earlier," Caitlin added in a low voice only the two women could hear. Her finger brushed Sam's as she handed her the cup. "You know if you need to talk, I'm here for you. We haven't really had a chance to catch up since I got here..." A small smile arranged her lips. "Can we talk after this is over? There's something I... Well, there's something I really want to talk to you about."

The answering smile that spread over her face both surprised her and didn't. She'd known Caitlin for over ten years and the two had been close during her time in Washington. "I'd like that. It's been a long time since we had a girl's only night and drank too much. Maybe we can get Annie to come, too."

"That'd be good. She's seeing someone, you know. She's all secretive about who it is but she keeps getting flowers and chocolates delivered to her office. Don't suppose she's said anything to you about it?"

The small laugh she gave was genuine. "Nothing I can talk about." Sam gave Caitlin's hand a quick squeeze and let her gaze wander over the room. She noticed David casting her concerned glances in between blushing at whatever Agent Johnson was saying. "Speaking of Annie, where is she? And Andrew and Agent Alexander?" She glanced at her watch and frowned. "I'm not late, am I?"

A flicker of worry passed over Caitlin's face. "No, you're not. Annie took Andrew and Belle out an hour ago. She said she had a hunch she wanted to follow up but needed to talk to someone at the Academy about it before she could share it with us. She should've been back by now."

"They're probably on their way. I know Annie's usually on time but you know Andrew, he's never been on time for anything in his life." Sam took note of the knowing smile on Caitlin's face and couldn't resist nudging her friend gently. "I'm guessing by the look he was late for your first date, too." She chuckled as the expression on her friends face changed but the chuckle died on her lips as her gaze strayed and came to rest on the board.

On the smiling faces on it, on the new addition.

"It's not your fault, Sam."

She barely heard Caitlin, barely noticed the door to the conference room open as Jack slipped in. She didn't see him stop to converse briefly with Agent Johnson and David, didn't hear him approach and make small talk with Caitlin.

Her mind processed the faces, processed the knowledge that she'd known each and every one of them and the colour drained from her face as she connected the dots.

Her breath caught in her throat and she reached out blindly, her hand grasping Caitlin's arm to the point of pain.

"Call Annie and Andrew. Now. Get them back here." She released her death grip as Caitlin moved away to follow orders, confused at the suddenly urgency but understanding whatever it was was important. She took a step closer to the board.

To the people who'd joined the MIU within a few months of herself and thought of Andrew.

The only one of two friends she had left who'd been by her side since her first day on the job.

"Carter?"

She tilted her head slightly in acknowledgement but kept staring at the board, kept imagining another face beside Katrina Robb's.

Kept seeing Andrew, kept seeing herself.

Kept seeing Elizabeth Masters.

"Andrew's the next target," she murmured, pushing the words passed the lump her throat, through the nausea rapidly rising inside. "They're targeting everyone who signed up with the MIU in 1989. The year I joined."

She heard David murmur something reassuring to Caitlin and offer to keep trying to call Andrew but couldn't bring herself to make the same assurances. Still fighting the nausea, the fear of losing someone else, she crossed over to her desk on unsteady legs, picking up the phone and dialling the number she knew by heart.

Two rings.

Four rings.

Six rings.

"Bartley."

"Annie!" The relief was dizzying, almost as bad as the fear. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, knew Caitlin was moving closer, sensed Jack hovering behind her. "Stop whatever you're doing and get back to the mountain."

"Why? Has something happened? Oh, God, is someone else dead?"

"Not yet but they might be soon. Andrew's next, Annie. They're targeting the people who were inducted in 1989."

"You were inducted in 1989."

"I know. So were all of the people I've got looking at me from the white board." She took a deep breath, closed her eyes. "Just get back here, okay? They might not be going for Andrew but since they went after Katrina, the chances are that he's next. They want to get close to me, hurt me. Andrew's the only person who signed up when I did that I care about who's still alive. Get him back here, get yourself back here. Please."

"Don't worry, Sam, we're on our way back..."

There was a curse, a yell.

An explosion that could be heard from the other side of the conference room as Sam jerked the receiver away from her ear momentarily.

"Annie? Damn it, Annie!"

The line went dead.

Sam looked up at the people standing around her desk, her head spinning. It was hard to breathe, hard to speak.

She felt Jack's hand on her shoulder and inhaled deeply to calm herself.

"You said they were going to the Academy?"

Caitlin nodded dumbly, her face bloodless.

"Then that's where we're going. David, call it in. Tell them we'll need medical assistance and the cooperation of the local authority to seal off the area."

David nodded, swallowing hard even as he made his way to a phone to report. Agent Johnson went after him, her hand resting on his arm in a gesture of solidarity.

"Caitlin." Sam stood on legs that threatened to buckle and moved stiffly to stand besides her friend. She reached out for her, grasped her arms gently. "You have to keep it together. I know it's hard but you have to try. For Andrew and for Annie. And for me."

Again, Caitlin nodded but her eyes glazed over. "Sam. What if they're..."

"They're not."

"What if they are?"

"They're not. They can't be." Her grip on Caitlin's arms tightened ever so slightly. "If they were, I'd know."

Caitlin looked up at her, blinked furiously in a valiant attempt at keeping back tears. "I'm pregnant, Sam. He doesn't even know. I was going to tell him afterwards because he wouldn't have let me be part of the team." Her voice cracked and she reached out for Sam blindly as the first tears escaped. "I can't lose him. I can't."

Sam let go long enough to wrap her arms around her friend, closing her eyes as she drew Caitlin closer. She thought about promising not to let it happen but remembered the sound of the blast through the phone.

Heard it ringing in her ears and realised she couldn't say the words Caitlin wanted to hear without lying to her.

"Sam?" David's voice barely cut through the pounding in her head. "They've located the car and the med team is on its way."

She nodded once, squared her shoulders and reluctantly released Caitlin. "Let's go."

* * *

The explosion had taken place in the parking lot of the Air Force Academy so there were dozens of people milling around, standing in groups both big and small, talking about it with horrified fascination in their voices.

Instead of local police keeping the crowds back, various members of staff from the Academy were there doing the jobs for them, their faces grim and their stance tense.

The people involved were theirs and they'd be damned if they let anyone else stand for them.

There was no black body bag; that was the first thing Sam noticed with a heady sense of relief. She squeezed Caitlin's hand reassuringly then let go, forcing herself forward.

It was her job to go first, her job to find out what was going on and report to the others.

Her job to identify bodies and break the news to colleagues and next of kin.

She wondered briefly what the policy was when the next of kin was the person identifying the body in the first place. She had been, for years, written down as next of kin for both Annie and Andrew.

"Colonel." The officer who saluted her, a member of the medical team, was someone she'd conversed with just hours before.

In a motel room with the body of Katrina Robb between them.

"Doctor." She nodded curtly, crossed her arms over her chest. "What's their status?"

"Both Colonel Bartley and Colonel Mason were quite near the explosion. I'd like to get them moved as soon as possible so I can determine the full extent of their injuries. Witnesses said they started to move away from the car seconds before the device exploded. It seems they had some sort of warning. That warning saved their lives." The officer glanced over his shoulder, then back at Sam. "We were told to expect three casualties, Colonel. Witnesses say there were only two people walking towards the car."

An eyebrow rose. "Are you sure the people you're treating are Colonel Bartley and Colonel Mason?"

"Positive, ma'am. I've worked with Colonel Bartley before and one of other officers identified Colonel Mason. I'd like to move them now, Colonel. We've managed to get them stabilised but I don't know how long we can keep them that way."

"Get ready to move them. I want them taken to the Cheyenne Mountain complex. They might still be at risk and that's the safest place for them." It wasn't strictly true but her chances of being kept up-to-date with their condition improved if she could see them for herself. "Doctor?"

"Yes, Colonel?"

"What are their chances?"

The officer hesitated. "Colonel Mason should make a full recovery. I'm a little concerned about the way he landed, though. There seems to be some damage to his lower spine but I'm afraid we won't know more until we've ran more tests."

"And Colonel Bartley?"

Again, the officer hesitated. His eyes lowered. "Colonel Bartley's condition is slightly more serious. I'm afraid I can't say more than that at the moment."

She fought the urge to push passed him and kneel beside the prone form she could see just a few feet away and gave him another nod. "Get them moved. Report to Doctor Brightman when you get there and if anyone has any problems, tell them to call me."

"Yes, Ma'am." He saluted and scurried away, back to Annie.

Sam stood still for several seconds, her eyes glued to the people crouched on the ground beside her before her gaze shifted to Andrew and the people kneeling beside him. She wanted to be relieved that they were alive but found she couldn't be.

Not when there was still a chance that they could still die.

Taking a deep breath to control her nerves, she let her hands clench and unclench at her sides as she forced herself forward, passed them, towards the wreckage that had been Annie's rental car.

It reminded her of her Volvo, what little there was left.

After studying it for a few minutes, she sought out the officer in charge of the investigation into the cause of the explosion, ordered him to report to her as soon as possible and turned on her heel.

Andrew and Annie were both on stretchers and the team of medics were preparing to load them both into ambulances. She strode over to Andrew, noticed Caitlin standing beside him, her fingers wrapped around his limp hand.

"They're taking them to the SGC," she murmured, putting a hand on Caitlin's arm. "Go with them and call me if anything happens."

Caitlin started to nod, then turned to her with dazed eyes. "I should stay, help you here..."

"Go." Her voice was soft even as she issued the order. "There's not a lot any of us can do here. I'll be heading back to the SGC myself once I've found out where Agent Alexander went."

Again, Caitlin nodded but it was clear she wasn't able to focus. She let go – reluctantly – while they ushered Andrew into the ambulance and followed after one last look at Sam.

Sam watched both ambulances drive away, crossing her arms over her chest as she turned back to survey the scene. She sensed more than saw Jack approach, barely reacted when he placed a hand at the small of her back. "Agent Alexander's missing. Witnesses didn't see her anywhere near the car." She tilted her head slightly, glanced at him to see his reaction. "We're going to find that she received a phone call a few minutes before they left the Academy, that she said she had somewhere to be."

"You think she's their person on the inside?"

"No one outside of my team knew they'd be here. They only had the opportunity to plant that bomb in the car while they were inside talking to whoever Annie wanted to see. I've known Caitlin and David for years and I know they care too much about Annie and Andrew to do this to them. That leaves Agents Johnson and Alexander and Alexander's the one who's mysteriously disappeared. By all rights she should've been caught up in the explosion, too."

Jack gave her a small nod, working it through in his mind. "It makes sense." He looked at her, tried to read her expression. "Are they going to be okay?"

"Andrew should be fine. There's some concern about the way he landed. I think they're worried there's a chance he might have damaged his spine permanently but the officer I spoke to either didn't know much or wouldn't say."

"And Annie?"

Her gaze shifted, her eyes unable to focus on his. "Annie's condition is a little more serious. I've ordered them to be taken to the SGC. I know Doctor Brightman will do all she can for them there."

"Do you want to go back...?"

"I need to try and find out where Alexander went. The Board will want to know when I make my report." She looked at him when he moved his hand to tip up her face. "I can't think about it, Jack. Not now, not here." She gave him a small smile, her lips together in a tight white line. "I have to do my job. I have to get them before they get anyone else."

"I know." He moved his hand to her elbow, turned her away from the wreckage. "I'll help you. And if you'll let me, I'll help you get through everything else. Whatever happens."

Her smile was small, her eyes grateful. She made a promise to herself not to shut him out again, to do her best to let him help. "I'll hold you to that."

* * *

It didn't take long to confirm that Belle had left before Annie and Andrew. After talking to the officer Annie had gone to see, they were able to determine that she'd not only received a phone call she claimed was from Sam but that she'd left a full forty minutes before the others.

On a hunch, Sam asked to review the security footage covering the parking lot and watched through narrowed eyes as the woman took a small device she could only assume as the cause of the explosive out from her purse and attached it to the underside of the vehicle in the guise of checking the tire. She left with a copy of the tape, already composing her report in her mind for the Board.

After what felt like hours, Sam was finally able to get to the infirmary to check on the status of her fallen teammates.

Caitlin sat beside Andrew's bed, her hand wrapped tightly around his. She looked up when Sam entered and the dazzling smile on her face told Sam all she needed to know: he was going to be okay.

Feeling some of the tension knotted in her stomach ease, Sam returned the smile with one of her own before moving onto the private room she'd been told Annie had been moved to.

She didn't knock, didn't bother looking through the small glass window to see if there was anyone else present.

That was why she stopped mid-step when she noticed the President sitting uncomfortably in the plastic chair beside the bed.

"Sir! I'm sorry, I didn't realise..."

"Don't apologise, Colonel." The President didn't turn around. He didn't take his hand from Annie's either. "Come on in, pull up a seat. Doctor Brightman thinks it's going to be a long night."

She did as told, closing the door behind her to give them some degree of privacy. "Did Doctor Brightman say what her chances are?"

He swallowed as she studied him. "Slim. Her chances are slim. There's severe brain trauma. Doctor Brightman believes debris from the car caused a head injury they didn't notice until they moved her."

"I see." And because she did, Sam released her death-grip on the arms of her chair and took Annie's other hand in hers. She felt the President's eyes on her but didn't look up from the pale face. "She's strong. If anyone can get through this, it's Annie."

"I hope you're right, Colonel." The President sighed, his hand tightening around the limp fingers he held. "I lost her once. I don't want to have to do it again."

Sam opened her mouth to respond but closed it again. Part of her wanted to ask him about his past with Annie but she didn't think the timing was appropriate. Besides, he was the President of the United States and although she'd shouted at him just twenty four hours earlier, she didn't feel comfortable giving him the speech usually reserved for people involved with those she cared about.

"You can ask, Colonel." The smile on his face was small and wistful but after glancing up at it, Sam found she couldn't look away. "Annie... She considers you to be the daughter she never had. She warned me you'd want to talk to me to make sure my intentions were honourable when you found out about us."

Again, she opened her mouth to speak.

Again, she closed it.

The cell phone in her pocket rang.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

The first thing the voice on the other end of the phone did was apologise.

There wasn't much sincerity in his voice, though. In fact Sam's eyes narrowed even as he expressed his sympathy for the supposedly accidental injuries Annie had been subjected to.

"Shut up." The sound of her own voice, of the venom in it, surprised even her. "I've had enough. You win. I'm not going to play anymore of your twisted games, I'm not going to let you lead me around in circles. You said you wanted to go up against me, that you chose me. Well this is it. Tell me where I can find you and we'll meet, face to face. We'll end it. One way or another."

There was laughter in his voice, laughter amusement and an edge of approval that made her nauseous. She didn't want his approval. Didn't need it. The thought of having it made her feel dirty.

"Very well, Colonel. We can meet. I will call you again with detailed instructions."

He hung up before she could ask what those instructions would entail.

"Problems, Colonel?" The President looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. "You're not considering meeting these people after this?"

His hand tightened inconspicuously on Annie's.

"I have no choice, Sir. I have to stop them from hurting anyone else."

"You're giving them what they want. They made it clear from the start they wanted you involved in this. Not only agreeing to see them but suggesting it... You're playing into their hands."

"Maybe I am." She shrugged casually and pushed herself up. Leaned down and busied herself with delivering a soft kiss to Annie's forehead. "But at least this way they don't go after anyone else. They wanted me involved, they got it. You ordered it. They went after people I knew to make it personal, they went after Andrew and Annie so I couldn't back out. It didn't start out being about me but somewhere along the way they decided I needed to be part of it. They've been in control this whole time and I'm not happy with that. It's time I took control and end it before anyone else ends up dead."

"Just make sure it doesn't end with your death." The President locked eyes with her and she was surprised at what she saw flicker on his face. "You mean a lot to Annie, Annie means a lot to me. If... When she wakes up, she'll need you. Make sure you're there for her."

Sam nodded, eventually finding herself breaking eye contact. "I'll do my best, Sir."

It wasn't until she'd been gone for five minutes and Annie's hand moved in his that the President realised what she'd promised.

To do her best. Not to stay alive.

* * *

He kept his promise and called back, all amusement fading from his voice as he issued her with instructions.

Instructions he insisted she followed if she didn't want to end up dead.

There would be a final game, he told her. One more round to it all. And she couldn't go alone.

He insisted on Jack being one of her companions but left it to her to choose the other. Some choice. Having to decide which of her friends she possibly took with her to their death.

She thought about taking David but decided to spare him. She wanted to talk him out of staying with the MIU when it was all over but couldn't do that if he was dead. She couldn't do it if she died either but told herself not to think about that.

In the end, her choice was taken from her.

She and Jack approached her rental car only to find Caitlin already there, checking it over.

"I'm going with you." The tone she used left no room for arguments.

Still, Sam argued. "You're pregnant."

"That doesn't mean I can't do my job."

"No but it means I can't put you in danger. I can't include you in this."

"You already included me in this." Caitlin crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. Jack glanced between the two women, saw an identical scowl on his lovers face and wisely chose to take a step back. "You handpicked me for this team, Sam, because you know I'm good. I might not be the best but I'm damn close. I'm the best you have left."

Sam's eyes narrowed slightly. "I wouldn't have picked you if you'd been honest with me. If you and Andrew had told me..."

"Told you we were dating?"

"Told me you were pregnant," Sam corrected. "I don't have a problem with you dating. You're two of my oldest friends, I think it's great you're together."

"MIU regulations say agents involved in a romantic relationship shouldn't be assigned to the same case."

Sam snorted. "And I have such a reputation for being a follower of the regs."

"You did until you started here." The statement was made with a small smile, and a knowing glance at the man doing his best to stay out of the conversation. "I don't want to argue with you, Sam. I heard what you said, they told you to bring General O'Neill and one other person. If you don't, they'll shoot you on sight. Let me come with you. I'll just sit in the background, I promise."

"Unfortunately I don't think they'll let you." Her eyes closed for a second and when she opened them, Sam found Jack standing slightly closer than before. "Okay. You're coming. But the deal is you don't say anything. Either of you. You let me handle it, no matter what they say to try and bait you."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Anything you say."

She threw a disbelieving look at them both and walked around to the driver's side of the car, hesitating with her hand halfway towards the handle. She glanced over at Caitlin, saw the rueful smile on her friends face. "It's safe?"

"It's safe. I had the guys check and checked again myself. They're not blowing anyone else up, I promise."

"Good."

* * *

She had expected a warehouse. A damp, dark warehouse would have fit the people she pictured in her mind perfectly. It would've been a cliché but for some reason it was what she was expecting.

It wasn't what she got.

She got a brand new office building complete with security guards on the door and a too-happy-to-help receptionist who told them that "Mr. Tyson was expecting them."

Tyson. The name made her pause and she exchanged a glance with Caitlin.

"There's a Commander Tyson who used to be MIU," she told Jack quietly as the three of them moved into the elevator waiting to take them up to the penthouse office suite. "He was on the Board of Directors until five years ago."

"Didn't he leave because he thought the MIU was becoming more and more like the NID? That he thought it started going downhill and that they were letting anyone who wanted to join get in?"

Sam nodded, her gaze moving around the elevator and locking on the small camera in the corner. "If I remember right, he quit because his son was turned down for the fifth or sixth time."

"Commander Tyson had a son?"

"Yeah, Air Force. Just made the rank of Lieutenant before quitting, I think. They don't share the same name because Tyson and his wife split and the wife reverted back to her maiden name. Actually... I'm pretty sure his surname was Alexander." She inhaled deeply as the elevator stopped and the doors started to open. "Guess we'll find out soon enough."

Commander Tyson was standing at the entrance to the office, a broad grin on his face.

A manic glint in his eye.

"Colonel. General. Commander. Please, make yourselves at home." He stepped back from the door to allow them entry.

Sam wasn't surprised to see Belle Alexander standing behind one of the chairs at the round table, one of the view pieces of furniture in the sparsely decorated office space. Nor was she surprised to see a man she recognised sitting casually in one of the other chairs.

Lieutenant Peter Alexander. Tyson's son, Belle's brother.

"Please, please. Take a seat." Tyson grinned even as he closed the door behind them, locking it securely. It was only when he turned back to them and approached the table that Sam noticed the gun holstered at his side. He noticed the direction her eyes travelled in and his grin widened. "It's for the purposes of the game, Colonel, I assure you I'm the only person here who's armed. As per our agreement."

"As per your instructions," she corrected with a thin smile, taking the seat he motioned to. Jack and Caitlin positioned themselves either side of her and Sam was again unsurprised when Tyson took the seat opposite her.

With his back to the window.

That was a small surprise but one she didn't let show.

"You have a lot of questions," Tyson predicted, the smile still on his face. "Don't worry, Colonel. I intend on answering them." He took the gun from the holster and set it down on the table in front of him with a calm air. "Here are the rules. There's one bullet in this gun. I'm going to aim and fire at each of us in turn. Every time I pull the trigger and no one gets hurt, you get to ask me a question. Only then do you get to ask me a question. I'll answer it honestly, of course."

"Of course," Sam repeated. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Caitlin tense. Turning her head slightly, she saw Jack's hands clench into fists under the table. It was taking them a lot not to join in but she was pleased they were respecting her wishes to let her take control of the conversation. "Do you get to decide the order we go in or do I?"

"I wondered if you'd ask." He shot a look at his son and daughter, the pleasant smile giving way to a slightly disapproving sneer. "It's nice to have someone else around here with a brain. It's entirely up to you, Colonel. Would you like to go clockwise or anti clockwise?"

The look exchanged between the siblings gave her some satisfaction. At least she wasn't the only one who couldn't predict the behaviour of the man sitting opposite her.

"Clockwise." She glanced around the table. Clockwise meant it would start with Pete and end with the Commander himself. "Starting with your son."

Commander Tyson laughed and picked up the gun. "Fair's fair," he agreed cheerfully.

The expression on the former Lieutenant Alexander's face was laughable. The colour faded from his cheeks and he swallowed convulsively as his father's gun was aimed at his head. "Dad..."

Commander Tyson pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

"What's your first question, Colonel?" He asked conversationally, turning the gun on his daughter quite calmly.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Ah, straight to the point." Tyson grinned again. "I like that. Well, it's quite simple, really. The MIU isn't what it used to be. In fact, you and Ms. Masters were the last Agents I agreed were worthy of the role." He didn't notice his daughter flinch or his son glare at him. "Of course, I was never given the chance to approve my son. No matter how many times I nominated him for the MIU, he was always knocked back. It's a disappointment I've learnt to live with." With a perfectly still hand, he pulled the trigger again. The look on his face was almost disappointed as Belle sunk down in her seat in obviously relief. "Next question."

Sam forced herself not to look at Caitlin as the gun was aimed at her. She reached under the table for Caitlin's hand and grasped it reassuringly. "You said Liz and me were the last you approved. Is that why you started targeting the others who joined in 1989?"

"It is, yes. Had you not got involved and this meeting not taken place, we would have finished eliminating them and possibly started on those who were inducted into the MIU after that year." He said it with a pleasant smile, even as his finger pulled the trigger again. Nothing. The pleasant smile did fade as he moved the gun and aimed it at her head. "Next question, Colonel. Make it a good one, it might be your last."

Sam felt Jack tense beside her, and the grip on her hand was returned from Caitlin's side of the table. Strangely, she felt completely calm as she faced the man holding the gun. "Why involve me if you knew I'd make you stop? Why get me involved at all? You could've gone on getting rid of the people you deemed unworthy instead of ending it by playing Russian roulette with me."

Tyson's grin widened and the manic look in his eye grew. "I'm an old man, Colonel. I'm not going to be around forever. You know what happens to good MIU agents if they stay in the field too long. They burn out. That's why they made me retire, you know. I should've accepted the cosy little desk job instead of insisting I stay out in the field and I paid the price. I was medically retired from the Navy within months of leaving the MIU and now... Now I watch my children waste away in careers they aren't suited for. Neither of them are what I wanted them to be. The one who made it into the MIU wasn't worthy, the one who didn't is the one I thought was... I'm tired, Sam. Do you mind if I call you Sam?" He carried on regardless, without waiting for an answer. "Like you, I'm tired of all the crap they put us through. I just want it to end. I had high hopes once. I wanted to start a new agency, with my children. With you and those like you who still stand for what's right. But I see now that's not going to happen."

He pulled the trigger before she could react.

She didn't even flinch.

Nothing.

With a look of vague surprise, Tyson turned the gun on Jack. Then he reconsidered and turned it around, pointing it at himself. "Again, Colonel, this might be your last question. Make sure it's one you really want the answer to."

Her heartbeat sped up slightly as she realised what he was doing. As it struck her that he was changing the rules. That chances were the bullet would fire on the last shot and now that shot would be aimed at the man sitting beside her instead of the one sitting opposite.

"If you wanted to start another organisation, a better organisation, why did you choose this method of drawing attention to yourself? You had to be aware that no MIU agent worth anything would give you the time of day knowing you're responsible for the deaths of so many of our colleagues. Of good people. Paul McKellan was retired. His wife had nothing to do with this. Why kill them if you wanted sympathy and support?"

Tyson's smile seemed sad when she looked at it more closely. His face looked older. His eyes... His eyes looked crazed. "I'm afraid my exploits with the MIU have left me a little blood thirsty, just as they did Agent Locksley. Darren was a good friend of mine, you know. A good friend of the family. It was actually his idea to do this. Of course he'd assumed you'd be dead by the time we put our plan in action but I wasn't going to let it get in my way. My son and daughter were quite persuasive that this was the way to go."

Again he pulled the trigger.

Again there was nothing but a harmless click.

"You're crazy." She was speaking out of turn and knew it. Appreciated the surprise on his face as he turned the gun around and pointed it at Jack. "You didn't burn out with the MIU, you lost your sanity. You're sick, Commander. Maybe you need medical attention because you weren't always like this. You wouldn't have been inducted if they knew you were like this. You wouldn't have been voted to sit on the Board."

"You would have thought that, wouldn't you, Colonel?" Tyson sighed softly and she noticed his children exchange confused, uncertain glances. As if it had just occurred to them that maybe something was wrong with their father. "Like the good General here, I've had some... disturbing experiences in my career. Missions that weren't recorded in my personnel files. My wife left me because of those missions. She took my children from me, changed their names. Until they were old enough to decide for themselves, I could only see them four times a year. So I went on more missions. Lived through more nightmares. It's enough to change a man into a ticking time bomb. A time bomb that might go off at anytime. The man beside you is just like me, Colonel. I'd really be doing you a favour by taking him out of the equation now. I'd be doing you both a favour. I'd hate for your relationship to end the way mine did, because my wife realised what she'd married."

"It won't." They said it together. Sam glanced at him quickly, got a shrug in apology for speaking out of line and let her attention drift back to the mad man holding the gun. "I appreciate the concern, Commander, but we know what we're getting into. We don't need you or anyone else telling us not to bother."

Tyson laughed, further confirming her suspicions that the once well decorated Commander wasn't the man he once had been. She felt pity stir in her chest, for both the Commander and his children who seemed to have reached the same conclusion and were frantically thinking of a way to resolve the situation without the gun going off a final time.

To her relief, Tyson lowered the gun but still kept it in his hand. He stood up and walked around the table.

Her gaze followed him the best she could.

"Stand up."

The voice was soft but the order was clear. Sam did as she was told.

Tyson gripped her arm, not hard enough to bruise but hard enough to hurt. He pulled her back around to his side of the table, pushed her down into the chair he'd just vacated.

Stood behind her and put the gun in her hands, holding it up and pointing it at Jack.

His finger moved over hers. Moved towards the trigger.

Sam forced herself not to look at Jack, not to stare down the barrel of the gun as she fought for control.

For a man who was considerably older than her, Commander Tyson was still stronger and he had insanity on his side.

"Dad, what are you doing?"

"This wasn't part of the plan."

Belle and Peter both got to their feet, both moved to stand either side, but neither attempted to intervene.

"We were just supposed to talk her into joining us."

"We were supposed to make her tell the Board what we wanted."

Tyson chuckled, his breath tickling Sam's ear as he leaned over her. "The Board won't listen. Not to me, not to her. All of us are expendable. As long as they're safe in their little offices. We should've gone after them," he muttered. "We should've killed them all.

"You don't have to do this, Commander." Sam's voice was steady. A lot steadier than her hand. "You can stop this right now. Let us all go and you and your family can walk out of here. Go wherever you want, go somewhere safe. I'll let you go if you promise not to hurt anyone else. They'll let you live."

"That's a lie and we both know it, Sam. I have to say I'm disappointed in you. You're not the agent I thought you were. I thought you could stop me," he whispered. "I thought you were the last decent MIU agent accepted by the Board. Obviously I was wrong."

The sound of glass shattering muffled his last statement.

Two thuds followed the sound.

The hand gripped around hers loosened and Sam saw her chance. She pulled her hands from between his, clutching the gun desperately as she spun around and up, elbowing him sharply as he tried to fight back.

As he tried to comprehend that the two thuds had been the sound of his children hitting the floor as they were taken out by sharpshooters.

Sam followed the jab to his ribs with a well-aimed fist in the stomach, lifting her knee at the same time.

Commander Tyson was on the floor, doubled over, breathing heavily, by the time Caitlin and Jack moved around to her side of the table. Sam held the gun in hands that were now steady, aiming it at his chest as the former MIU director stood staring up at her.

"You said I was a disappointment because I didn't stop you." She motioned with the gun in her hand, tilted her head to the side casually even as her heart pounded and the blood raced through her head. "Care to revise that opinion?"

Tyson didn't answer immediately and the chance was lost. A team of MIU agents, the team she'd alerted to her position before leaving the SGC and had ordered to follow after ten minutes, entered the room with weapons pointed at the three suspects on the floor.

Sam only lowered the gun when all three of them were restrained, her eyes still fixed on Commander Tyson. She let Caitlin move to brief the leader of their back up team, felt Jack move to stand closer to her side.

"It won't happen to us," he told her quietly, reading her thoughts easily. "Neither of us will get like that."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't be. I just know." He shrugged, gave her a reassuring grin when she looked at him. "It'll just be different. You and I both understand the kind of nightmares he talked about. Things his wife couldn't understand, things other people wouldn't understand. We won't end up bitter and alone and crazy."

"No." A hint of a smile curled her mouth. "We'll end up together and crazy."

"Sounds good to me." Gently, Jack prised the gun from between her numb fingers. Handed it to the MIU agent hovering uncomfortably beside them and reached out to take her hand. "Let's go home."

"Back to the SGC, you mean." Her mind was already ticking, already moving back to Annie, to Andrew. To Caitlin and her baby.

"SGC first, then home. We're still owed a day off."

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

Their downtime was postponed again.

They pulled up in the parking lot of the SGC to find David waiting for them outside, his arms pulling his jacket around himself to ward off the chill.

"Andrew." The colour drained from Caitlin's face and she grabbed Sam's arm for support as the three of them slowly approached the youngest member of their team. "It's Andrew, isn't it? Something's wrong, something's happened..."

"It's not Andrew, Caitlin." David's smile was weak, his expression strained as his gaze flickered to Sam's curious face. "It's Annie, Sam. She took a turn for the worse. They think there was some bleeding in the brain... There's nothing more they can do for her. I'm sorry." He hung his head, unable to meet her gaze.

Unable to see the pain she couldn't hide.

Sam nodded, feeling numb. She saw relief flood Caitlin's face only to be replaced by shock as it sunk in.

Annie was dying.

"Thank you for being the one to tell me, David." She turned slightly to Caitlin. "Why don't you go and get some rest, get something to eat with David and catch him up on what happened. Then you can brief the Board and after that, go and spend some time with Andrew."

"You want me to brief the Directors?" Caitlin's eyebrows rose, the shock giving way to surprise.

"I'm officially off the clock. Retired again. Permanently. Until Andrew's back on his feet, you are the senior member of this team." Sam tempered the words with a small smile but couldn't hold it for long so quickly walked away. She knew Jack was behind her, heard him murmur something to Caitlin and David before catching up with her. They were silent as they made their way passed the security stations and it was only when they were in the relatively private space of the elevators that she gave in and let him tug her into his arms. "I can't lose her, Jack. Not now. I buried my father six months ago, I can't bury the woman who's been a Mom to me, too."

"It might not be as bad as David thinks." He tucked her head under his chin, clasped his hands together at the small of her back. "I'll talk to Doctor Brightman, okay? There might be something we can do. Maybe we can get in touch with Thor or the Tok'ra..."

"Not the Tok'ra." She pulled back slightly, looked up at him through dark eyes. "I'm not losing anyone else to them, either."

"Okay." He leaned down, let his lips brush against her forehead before reluctantly drawing back as the elevator slowed. "Go see her. I'll follow once I've spoken to Doctor Brightman."

"Thank you." She gave him a grateful smile and took a deep breath as the doors parted. She squared her shoulders, straightened her back and tilted her head up as she forced herself to walk to Annie's private room, preparing herself to have to say goodbye.

* * *

There was nothing they could do.

The head injury Annie had gained in the explosion was more serious than anyone had realised and by the time it had made itself known, it was too late for medical intervention to save her.

Sam sat beside the bed, her hands wrapped around Annie's.

It was familiar territory for her, old territory. One she hadn't wanted to revisit so soon.

Her father's death still weighed heavily on her mind, as did the guilt that she hadn't done enough. That there'd been something she could've done to save him. That maybe if she'd realised sooner that he was ill and keeping something from her, she could have persuaded him to let his symbiote go in time to accept another.

Six months ago, before she and Jack had officially become a couple, before he'd retired, she had whispered to her father on his death bed that she wouldn't be alone, that she'd be okay because there were people in her life to take care of her.

Jack was one. Jacob Carter hadn't known about the relationship for long before his death but when she'd confessed, he had strangely approved. It was only after he revealed he was dying that Sam realised why.

Teal'c and Daniel were the others, a warrior and a scientist. Friends who'd become family, to both her and her father.

Annie Bartley was the fourth. Jacob hadn't known about Sam's ties to the MIU but he had known Annie. He'd met her at Sam's graduation from the Academy, at the very graduation in which Sam and Elizabeth Masters had been inducted into the MIU. He'd met her on several occasions after that and had come to realise that the woman had become a second mother to his daughter.

He'd died believing she would be there for Sam after his death.

The thought that she'd only outlive him by six months hadn't crossed anyone's mind.

"Annie." Sam's voice faltered and she tightened her hold on the older woman's hand. "You can't do this to me, Annie. You can't leave me, not now. It's not fair." She rolled her eyes, hating the childish whine in her voice but knowing it was either that or give in to the flood of tears threatening to escape. "You said you'd be there for me whenever I needed you. How are you going to do that if you die on me?"

No response.

Not even the flutter of an eyelid.

Sam sighed, giving up. Annie couldn't hear her. Annie was probably already gone.

She heard the door open and close and assumed it was a nurse until a hand appeared on her shoulder and startled her. It wasn't a familiar hand so she looked up and found the President of the United States staring back.

He didn't look like the President. He looked like an ordinary person.

Just a normal grieving man.

There was a box in the hand that wasn't resting on her shoulder. Even as her eyes focused on it, Sam realised what was in it.

"I'm told you're the only member of personnel who can use it," Hayes said gruffly. He held it out to her and she noticed his hand wasn't steady. "I spoke to Doctor Brightman about it. She said the chances of it helping were small..."

"I know. I asked her about it, too."

The President nodded gravely. "So you know she advised against it. Not because she thought it would hurt Annie but..."

"But because she doesn't think I've got the energy needed to make it work." Sam took the box offered to her. Opened it and stared down at the Goa'uld device nestled inside. "Because she thinks I'd end up as one of her patients if I tried."

"I know the risks but I'm still going to make the request." He took his hand from her shoulder and moved slowly, tiredly, to sit in the second chair. "I tried imagining what it would be like living without her again. I couldn't. When my wife died, I resigned myself to living alone. I was managing it. Then I saw Annie again and couldn't imagine being without her. I still can't." He met her gaze, his expression bleak. "I wouldn't be asking, knowing that there's a personal risk to you involved, if I wasn't desperate. My advisors are waiting for me to leave. They think I'm in here saying goodbye to Annie but I'm not ready to say goodbye, Colonel."

Sam gave him a soft smile. "I'm not ready for that, either." She took a deep breath and her gaze dropped back to the device. She carefully laid the box on her lap, slowly took the device from it and slid it over her hand. "Doctor Brightman's not going to like this. Neither is Jack."

"I'll take full responsibility, Colonel. You have my word." Hope shone in his eyes and she saw him move to sit on the edge of his seat as she stood.

She took a few more deep breaths to compose herself and held out her hands, pleased to see they weren't trembling too badly. "Here goes nothing."

Her eyes closed in concentration and she waited.

And waited.

She heard the President's disappointed sigh and was about to open her eyes, lower her hands, when the familiar sensation washed over her.

The feeling of being drained.

She felt rather than heard a low pitched humming as the device started to work, could see the golden glow being emitted from her hands even through closed eyelids.

She focused, imagined the wounds being healed. Imagined Annie waking up.

She heard something, a sigh or a moan, and wasn't sure if it came from her or the woman lying on the bed.

Then it started to go dark and the only thing she could think was 'I hope it worked' before she knew no more.

* * *

"You shouldn't have made her do it."

"I didn't force her."

"You didn't exactly try to stop her, did you?"

"If I had, you wouldn't be here, Annie."

"If you had, she wouldn't be there, Henry."

If it hadn't been for the smile she couldn't quite suppress at hearing that tone of voice being used on someone who wasn't her, Sam would've been able to play possum for a little longer. As it was, the moment the smile started to appear, the pressure on her hand increased and she sensed someone lean over her.

"Carter?"

Jack.

"Hey." With a surprising amount of effort, Sam managed to pry her eyes open and found herself staring up at him, trying to reassure him with a small smile. "Did it work?"

"It worked." He tried to look stern but failed, rolling his eyes as the voices started arguing again.

"I told you she'd be okay."

"Yes, and you're world renowned for your psychic abilities. You didn't know she'd be okay and you shouldn't have let her do it."

"Annie." Turning her head took a little more effort than she would have liked but Sam was rewarded by the sight of Annie sitting beside her bed. In a wheelchair but she was there. Alive. "Nice set of wheels."

Annie tried to scowl but couldn't maintain it. "They wouldn't let me out of bed unless I agreed to use it. I feel old."

"You are old, woman." The President rolled his eyes but grinned good-naturedly at the glare he got, giving her shoulder a squeeze from where he stood behind her. "Get used to it."

"You better take that back, Henry Hayes, or I'll refuse to get on the plane to Washington with you."

Sam smiled again at the interaction, letting her attention drift back to Jack. "Have they been like this for long?"

"For eight hours. Since Doctor Brightman got tired of her demanding to see you. You've been out of it for over a day, Sam." The disapproving look returned to his face as he sat down on the edge of her bed. "We're going to talk about that. Not now. But we are going to talk about it."

"Somehow I knew you were going to say that." She shuffled over on the bed to make more room for him and slowly became aware that the arguing beside her had stopped, glancing over to find both Annie and the President starting at her and Jack with identical grins on their faces. "What?"

"Nothing." Annie's smile seemed to suggest otherwise but she didn't comment. "You shouldn't have done it, Sam. You took a risk you shouldn't have."

"It was my choice." With Jack's help, Sam managed to move into a sitting position and met Annie's gaze evenly. "If our situations were reversed, you would've done the same thing and you know it. You wouldn't have let me die if there was a chance you could do something about it."

Annie opened her mouth, and then closed it again.

The President just grinned. "She's got you there."

Annie looked up at him and threw him a look. "You really don't want me to go to Washington with you, do you?"

"Washington?" Sam interrupted before another argument could break out. "You going to stay at the White House, Annie?"

"What can I say, I'm moving up in the world." Annie shrugged but the smile faded slightly. "We have to leave soon, Sam. People are starting to wonder where the President is."

"But you've only been awake for, what, twenty four hours at most? Surely you can't leave..."

"There'll be a full team of medics with us all of the way." It was the President who answered, his expression matching his tone in an attempt at being reassuring. "And I have the best doctors in Washington standing by for our arrival. I'll take care of her."

"He doesn't want to leave me." Annie rolled her eyes but Sam could see she was pleased. "I told him it was stupid."

Sam managed a small smile and felt Jack squeeze her hand softly. "Well, it's understandable." She broke eye contact with Annie and glanced up at Jack. "Do you know how Andrew is?"

"He's doing better. He'll be staying here for a bit longer. I've told Caitlin she can get set up in one of the VIP quarters and stay close by till he's back on his feet."

Annie and the President were forgotten as she turned slightly to face him. "You told her. So you're still in charge of the SGC?"

"In a purely civilian capacity." Jack's gaze moved from her to the President for a moment before it settled back on her face. "We discussed it while we were waiting for you to come around. I'm going to stay here for the next year at least, in charge of the base as a civilian. Then they'll start looking for someone else."

"Civilian or not you're still my boss."

"I would be if I was going to be involved with anything to do with your career advancements. I'm not." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "General Hammond is going to oversee all details regarding promotions and recommendations for military personnel. It's all been approved, Sam. There's nothing to worry about."

She didn't look convinced but accepted it with a nod.

"I hate to do this but we've got to go, Annie." The President gave Sam an apologetic look and once again squeezed Annie's shoulder.

"I know." Annie gave him a small smile but her attention was soon focused solely on Sam. She leaned forward, clasped Sam's hands in hers when the younger woman disentangled them from Jack's. "I'll call you as soon as the plane lands in DC."

"You better." Her smile was small but what there was of it was genuine.

Annie nodded and blinked suspiciously bright eyes. Eyes that moved to look passed Sam and focus on the man beyond her. "You better take care of her, Jack. I'll know if you don't."

"I'll do my best."

As far as goodbyes go, it was short and sweet and definitely the type of goodbye Sam would choose over the one she'd expected to make.

Ten minutes after they found themselves alone, after much shuffling and shifting to make room in the narrow bed for them both, Sam let her eyes drift shut again, her head resting on his shoulder as Jack draped an arm over her waist, as much to draw her closer as to make sure he didn't fall.

Not to cuddle, though. He wasn't the cuddling type.

"So, there's nothing to worry about?"

"Nothing."

"Good." She let her eyes close, sighed as he squirmed behind her in an attempt at making space for them both. "So it's okay until the next time we're ordered to kill each other, or we're targeted by a deranged psychopath or..." She stopped in surprise at the loud thump. And looked down to where he was now lying on the floor. "Or till one of us falls out of bed."

Jack scowled and stood up, his scowl deepening at the smile she couldn't quite hide. "Not a word, Carter. Not a word." He motioned for her to sit up and slid onto the bed behind her, tugging her down so she was half on top of him, using his arms to keep her from mimicking his fall. "Go to sleep."

The smile on her face was smug but because the sigh she gave was contented, he chose not to follow it up with a reprimand, closing his eyes as her voice drifted distantly to his ears.

"Yes, Sir."

* * *


End file.
